Was

This was how I looked like in April, when I gave my phone away. I laughed so hard while cropping the photo, actually I don't look that bad, just that when it's cropped and the emphasis is all on my face then only does it look bad. I've so much oil on my face I can practically feed the children in Africa.

It's not about changing the situation, it is about adapting to the unchangable. Happiness is a hard master. I could end up somewhere else and not school and still be unhappy. People who are able to take advantage of the sucky situations, now that's something. Without losing yourself by conforming.. Now that really is something. It's easy to complain covered in shit, it's also easy to conform to like it but losing yourself at the same time. Losing yourself for acceptance. It is difficult to enjoy the unejoyable and retain personal identity.

I found out something new about myself today. We all strive for normalacy as much as we don't want to admit it. Or maybe it is just me. I'm not much of an individual- wrong expression... I.. I don't know. What is the point of productiveness when I am not enjoying it?
There's some truth in BNW, what is the point of scientific progress when there's human regression. The loss of humanity for efficiency. Clearly, this is bullshit. Completely incoherent. I have not moved from this space.. I think there is a reason why but I don't know what it is. Something subconcious or perhaps, I'm still not ready to let go of the past. Just like the old blogs that I left to start a new one, like this. The abandonning of Toritease.bs.com for this link, that feeling of not wanting to leave but soon growing to like the current link, it is the same thing. I must be sure before I create a new space.

I have always believed that certain parts of me were ugly and then people came along to tell me they weren't even though they were different. Only then did I see it differently. So I guess, views do affect me... I've realised that, Only and I think realisation is good. Don't want to talk much now. Bye