Was thinking and talking

I was really bored just now so I photoshopped my Art teachers picture. Except I realised my walcom tablet is spoilt, on top of that, I'm not exactly the best at Photoshop so I dont know how to do certain things and the shit turned out like poopy shit. I'll ask Robson, he knows his stuff. He is a wizz!

I was talking to Shaun just now and I realised what a social retard I am in school. He asked me why I'm able to socialise outside but not in school. I thought about it for a moment and replied, that I don't know what is going on in a JC students head. Like half the time I talk to people I don't know in school, I get really uncomfortable and I don't know whether I should be that friendly and whether the person would actually matter in my life. You see, I don't see the point in socialising with strangers unless I know I'm in it for fun. Take for example, Paul's crazy hotel party. I got to know all the queers and lezzies there. I could go up to them and say randomly how hot someone is or a "how are you".
I mean, I cant go around school asking acquitances that I think that they're hot or how they day went. That'd be really weird. Who the hell goes around school to ask people how their day is?
And you know, unlike the outside people I meet, I don't have to face them for the rest of my JC lives. I can choose as and when I want to meet them. But meeting someone and getting to know someone in school is risky business, you'd have to see the person almost all your life in school. Frankly speaking, school sometimes serves as relief to me. Because sometimes I feel like the drama outside school is insane. ( no doubt it is interesting though).
But I get to take a break and be a normal JC kid and relax. And to stay away from the booze, drunks and the rock and roll. Be good for a while because I'm actually 5/7 good than bad.

And I don't like small talk, in fact I hate it. Talk to someone about stupid things ( especially if the person doesn't seem fun.), just to "get to know" the person. I don't get that and will never get that. I don't enjoy it at all. That's why I only have close friends in school and have a handful of acquitances. I float around and I'm quiet around strangers.
I'm not like Amirah or Shaun, who have their CCAs to propel their social life in school. I'm in bloggers club for goodness sake, which only has a meeting once a term. That's like once in 4 months. And if I do go for bloggers club meetings, I hang out with my classmates because they make up majority of bloggers club.
HAHAHA.

I do find some people attractive in school, I just haven't found a way to get around them. To get them or to talk to them. What am I suppose to say? You want to have a drink with me? Because that I really need that now. Because I just like hanging out and talking. Chilling basically. I don't like going to the cinemas after school. To make out in the movie theatre when you can do that in the privacy of your own home. I don't like to publicize my love/sex life ( this blog is relatively private so I'll take my chances). I do adore public display of affection though but in the extreme sense. And I'd only do that if I'm head over heels which I'll not be in a long time I expect.

So with the hatred towards small talk and me being so straightforward when I'm friendly, how can I ever meet anyone new in school and still seem normal? I don't know, I always have this mentality of people gossiping but you're right, who gives a fuck!!

( should be studying Math now, BUT HAHAHA, i've not been studying it for the past.. 9 months? Probably should start studying on 1984 and Art.)