Explanation

I feel like I've to justify my actions to you and this maybe the only way I can do it.
Perhaps I want other people to know about it and maybe gain some sort of understanding after reading this post.

All I could think about during the whole process was how self centered you are.
Everything, one way or another had to work for your own good.
I have selflessly sacrificed many things, many many things.
My time, my energy, comprimising this and that.
You hurt me more than once, must I elaborate?
You tell your friends that quarels, arguments are part of a relationship.
But how far can an argument or quarel get? Is it ok for an argument to escalate to the point that you want to see the other crying?
To the point when you just want to see the person hurt?
Just because You don't get your way and when I don't care because I'm so Sick and tired of it, or if I do something " Wrong", you get all angry.
You think I don't feel it? Your anger and resentment?
You think I don't feel it when I've known you for so fucking long?
How can I not feel it?
When I give it my all, my useless tries to get you to smile. All of it, is fucking useless.
Getting the cold shoulder, the coldest ever, making me feel so Fucking lousy and ugly about myself then I cry.
That's ONLY WHEN YOU SUDDENLY FOR SOME GOD KNOWS WHAT REASON YOU SNAP OUT OF IT. And come to me and ask me not to leave.

You are one to say that you can get your way, just because I initiated the break up. That you want this and that, like I somehow signed some pre-nup when I got into this whole mess. You act like the victim and people say that I loved and lost you so it's my loss. If you were in my position, if you had cried that much that I did, if you HAD EVEN EXPERIENCED WHAT I did, then maybe you would understand. But you didn't, so you cant call the shots. But you can call the shots in your life.
I call the shots not because of Petty quarels but because I'm fucking beaten and bruised and bleeding on the ground.
You are oblivious.
Oblivious to everything.
To think that I don't love you when I still do, just in a different way.

This is an explanation, to explain to you why I left, why I'm still here and the reasons behind my doings.
Must I really go into every argument we had to show you the scars you've left? How I cried just because you were that insensitive on my birthday, how I cried because you can't sleep, how I cried because of a joke I made that upset you. Funny how I can remember all that and still managed to ignore all of it for the past months. The experience I've gain after all this, is not a bad thing. I've matured. So should you.
I'm not leaving you for someone, I wasn't like you in the past when you left without saying a word. Without saying a word. I'm leaving because I've had enough because You chased me away.
If it wasn't for your typical antics, I would've stayed.
Like I said, we're not compatible, I just didn't go into the details.
These are the details, Swallow it, I'm sorry I can't be any stronger for you when you're the one who keeps beating me down.

I hope you become more compansionate and more patient, that's something you may want to improve on.
If you really have to know, I'm really affected by this but I really can't be bothered to react. I'm hard like a rock and to those who knew me before 2007, I'm back !