HERE WE GO AGAIN

More like, Here I go again.
My art O level topic just came in.
So I probably won't be online for.. erm a long time? I guess, It's hard to say.
But I'll have to limit myself maybe 15 min of online time everyday? or less, not more.
I don't exactly go online anyway, I just use the internet and read stuff.
MSN bores me.
There's nothing to talk about.
Even if there is.
A 2 minute conversation usually amounts to nothing, maybe just a few good laughs which'll get me addicted and make me stay on longer than I should.

Everytime I receive a project, with options, I feel pressured.
This is crucial, choosing the right topic.
There were 3 topics which I had research and sketches on already but I've decided to do another.
Because those sketches really meant nothing to me.
Like Adria said, don't just throw in characters and make it look pretty, you must have a meaning behind it. Every single thing. The way the girl looks that way. The symbolism of the grass.
But I get so pressured by being original that it fogs my mind. I'm afraid that my idea is not unique enough, so I think harder and get "inspiration" from artists.
Why the open and close inverted coma. Because I do think that their stuffs brilliant so I just lift it off, without much thought. And lift another artist and throw it in.
Not all the time, but sometimes.
At the end, sometimes its painful painting it. I just wanted a piece which's estatically(?) pleasing, or original.
So, I sat down on my bed this afternoon, alone in my room, looking at the topics over and over again.
It took me an hour, a few rough sketch (30 second sketch, ha ha ha.) before I decided on the topic.
I'm doing on containers!
How unlike me.
I guess, "Emerge" might seem like it suit me even more than Containers.
I was thinking about it actually. Emerge.. emerge from the closet? Coming out as a lesbian?
Becoming more independent?
It would've been cool, but I think challenging the examiner and making her feel uneasy while marking my sketch of two girls kissing is not exactly gonna give me my A1.
Or A2 like what a teacher said I'd be getting but, whatever.
Anyway, it's not about making them(examiners) feel uneasy. Maybe it would've been original ( I've this mind set that singaporean kids are not as daring. And my work, according to Mrs Ow (ilikeherverymuchthoughshe'squiteascatterbrainattimes), can be quite explicit. Or very explicit. (ref to a drawing i did of a kid hanging off his mom's breast.) And breasts breasts and more lovely small perky assets!Haha personally she doesn't care but she says it might offend some (There was this kid who drew PENISES for his O level and handed it up. Cambridge immediately called up MOE and complained once received) Adria says thats probably because we're still young, so maybe.. they don't want to encourage such Promiscuous(?) behaviour? I dunno)
Oh god what a long bracket.
Anyway.
Yes, maybe it would've been original (Though, on second thought I think it might come across pretty amateurish(?) omgmyspellink) but I've not exactly erm.. well I'm not exactly independent yet.
Nor have I emerged from my "shell".
So I guess, the opposite should be "contain" which lead me to "containers"(!!) sounds cute, dont you think.
This is ramble ramble ramble more bullshit etc, I can't stop.
I must stop.

My container? My mind, duh.
And me being contained by my dad and moms container.
Me being contained from the world, I guess?
It's interesting.
And though, teacher say you shold do your research and sketches before layout, I'd like to do the latter first. It gives me a sense of direction. That way I know what I want to draw right! Rather than just throw in whatever "sketch" I have and end up hating it.

Karys please study hard if you're reading. 3 more weeks.. and E doesn't even feel nervous for she's already Prepared.

edit: 9:52pm
Ok, maybe I should choose an easier topic...
Is there enough time to fill in 10 pages of a3 paper within 3 weeks?
From scratch?
Oh god. oh god.