ZOMBIE DUST BUNNIES ATTACK

Hallo asswipe dead blog

2009-10-19T01:33:00.003+08:00

I've a lotta retard close friends who dont know my new link

so this is for those who give a shit abt muh boring lyfe rite now

http://harebot.blogspot.com/

2009-08-24T18:23:00.001+08:00

Decided to open my new blogzzspotzzz to the public. Ask me for the link. Me will give you :)

2009-08-20T20:06:00.000+08:00

I typed one whole chunk but decided to delete it.
hiatus.
I'm very busy at the moment and blogger is screwing up on me again.
I've not ran in... 10 days? i feel damn gross and fat.
Somehow, it just seems like there's no time. No there is time. It's just that I spend it eating with Joshua.So yeah I spend my time eating and not exercising.
I'm doing my A level art and i sincerely hope you'd understand why i can't come out.
because I actually do believe in whatever I'm presenting and I don't want to do something that even though May look kinda nice but isn't my best effort.
I want to put in my all and I don't want to paint shit half way and rush through it. because I don't want to regret. (though it really seems like I've no time).
it doesn't help that Nellie doesn't tell us the exact dateline and we're to guess. But I'm gonna finish it before my september holidays. So that's something.
Prelims next week.
No time to go out considering I've been eating so much lately.
I feel damn fat and gross HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Sometimes I think I really sound damn mad and rubbish.

On the brighter side, I'm in a lot better than last time. I actually enjoy school more now and started burping during art class.
:) I know it may not mean anything to you but it really means something to me.
Someone robbed/broke something in me or rather I allowed it to happen before. I feel like I'm smiling more now and knowing that it is real means something more.

Hamoo

2009-08-08T09:45:00.000+08:00

I want to get a fat and lazy hamster who's like Hamoo from the past.

Hamoo aka MooMoo aka YongPhai ( yes I named my pet after him) was put down when I was 16, his tumor burst and there was this huge cavernous hole at his side.

He was seriously the cutest and best hamster I ever had.

I could disturb him, squish him even when he was sleeping and he wouldn't even respond.

He just loves to sleep and have sex with his daughter ( which is very disturbing so I separate them).

One of the top 3 pets I'll remember having in my life. Such hamsters are hard to come by and he was trained since he was baby to be lazy about everything anyway.

His life as a child was highly stressful, Amutha would bring him to school everyday and all these 15 year old girls would swarm to him, pick him up, pet him, disturb him when he was sleeping. He was constantly in the cage that Amu would carry, his world was constantly swinging left to right.

Crazy girls who would pick him up and squish him even if he was sleeping.

Soon enough, he managed to realise that the girls/humans mean not harm, they just want to squish him. So he stopped responding. Instead, he would lift his head up look around for a bit and fall back asleep.

Or he would rest so comfortably in your hand with sleepy half opened eyes.

When I became his owner, he never bit me. Not once. He was fat and so bloody cute. He would rest his face against plastic walls of the cage with his mouth opened. It was a very funny sight and reminded me of those kids who pressed their faces against glass. He would rest so comfortably that his mouth would drag across the plastic wall he was leaning on.

I spent a lot of money on him of course. His bedding was expensive, not cheap sawdust. it was recycled grey colour little thingums. I spent about 100 bucks on him at the vet. Spent a bit on snacks and toys.

( most of his toys were recycled materials though. Like the classic toilet paper roll.)

He was like a fat man who just liked lazing around.

Just like Timbie and Fighty, he was great.

Green Slip

2009-08-06T13:12:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I don't understand the lady at the counter.

The school said that we can't give parents letter anymore so that means we either have to give an MC or to go to school even though we may not feel too well.

So lets say I am sick today but I know I just need to rest and it will go away, I wouldn't spend money on a fucking mc. Why would I?

And if you ask me to go to a poly clinic, I'd point my middle finger at you which part of I need to rest don't you understand. Waiting at a poly clinic and the crowd ( or so I've heard) takes so much energy and effort. The energy that I might as well use on going to school for lessons.

So left with no choice, I go to school.

And about the whole h1n1 thing, it is crap, just absolute crap.

"If you're sick, Please don't be in school"

Oh please, piss off.

We don't come to school but we've to get an mc. Even if we're slightly sick we're asked not to come to school.

Whatever, I went to school probably because I didn't want to get an MC and I felt relatively okay in the morning till I stepped out of the car.

Then the lady was making it So fucking difficult to get a green slip.

" why do you need a green slip?"

" Because I am sick"

" But we've a sick bay"

" Okay??"

" Why you want to go home?"

" Like I said, because I am sick"

" But we've a sick bay you can rest at"

" Yeah but I think I should go home and rest"

" You can rest at the sick bay then go for class cause you're not giving me a reason to why you should be allowed to go home"

#(!@&#*(&!@*(#&*@!&#(&!(# WHAT#*!(*#(@!&# HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING?

Lady " If you're sick then why do you come to school. Why Why"

V " Because I didn't want to get an MC and we've no choice"

Lady " Can write parents letter or something"

V " It isnt allowed now #!@#*(@!&#*@!&#@*(!&#*(!&@"

If I wasn't that bloody sick in the first place ( actually I am not) I'd just rest at any random quiet corner right, why would I choose the bloody sick bay. Obviously I must have be in some sorta extreme state of sickness to have suggested leaving.

Can't give parent letter, we're forced to go to school yet they want us to not be in school if we're even slightly sick, can't bloody get a green slip without aunty scrutinizing us.

_|_

This is for you

mm

2009-08-02T21:06:00.000+08:00

If you don't know by now, which you don't because I've only told two people and only one of them have the link, I have been posting on my new blog.
I'll give you my link when I decide to draft all my private thoughts.

Ahyoi, I really have to view my homework as fun and fulfilling because it is. It is. It is.

Church was good today and if you wanna be a darling, buy for me the pink fluffy slippers from mphsis at $13.90 size 6 or those doc marts I've been eyeing from so bloody long ago. Urgh.

Why I like to go out sometimes is because I like to dress up. Dressing up in different themes, no just merely putting on clothes ( though I do that most of the time. If I had the choice, I'd walk around in a spag top and panties - going naked is a bit too exposed and cold for me)
I've been eyeballing shiny looking stringy head bands lately, the ones from accessorize. But omg, 10 bucks for some stupid string? Go to hell!

Obviously I am procrastinating right now. Blogging instead of doing work- But work is fun so I'm going off to have some fun now.

One word

2009-07-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

Whatever (lah)

Fucked up

2009-07-26T21:50:00.002+08:00

What a god awful experience. I clubbed with Shalene last night at the Arena. It sucked. 1) the crowd was horrible, bloody china prostitutes everywhere. 2) Every girl had long hair and kept flicking their hair into my face 3) I got bloody smashed.

Met two Norwegian guys. Drank Martel, Whiskey Coke that I shared with Shalene only, talked to some random people, headed off alone, Drank 2 beers.

It was bloody awful bloody bloody awful. I did have some fun but waking up at 11am, feeling like there is still alcohol coursing through my veins is bloody awful. I felt like i was going to throw up but I managed to actually get back to bed.

It is stupid on my part, knowing I was already pretty unwell on saturday; I left literature lecture half way and vomited twice in school.

So I woke up at 2am, vomited twice. Still no better, Dicken's Great Expectations was actually quite comforting, reading it and slowly drifting off to sleep. So I basically slept my whole day away till 630pm.

And I had not eaten anything for 12 hours, bloody terrible.

Anyway, bad hangover and fever right now.

I had to go out and I really wanted to have some fun, it was fun but not really too.

Argh, now I have a lot of work to complete and I'm going into panic mood again.

Anyway, I have been getting really weird vibes from my school friends recently. It has made me feel very uncomfortable to be around them and I hope they are okay.

School is pretty much a prison now without the joy coming from them. They keep me grounded and somehow, I feel like thats lost. But I am sure it is a passing thing. It can't possibly last that long and I hope they will be okay.

Stress doesn't really help me. I'm going to stop now.

Hello AGAIN I KNOW

2009-07-13T23:03:00.003+08:00

Joshua has been outta sorts lately.
Then again, all of us are.
Why?
School has started.

Not exactly the first official day of school but to me at least, today was kinda the first official day to the start of the school term and we are to see the Discipline Master tomorrow... because we weren't remorseful for eating a cake in the library.
Let me tell you, that the cake was really good and Anyway, it's not like getting into trouble for making a good friend feel special is not worth it. If I actually felt any kind of remorse then she probably isn't even a good friend- as if she isn't worth the trouble.
I received shitty grades for GP.
Embarrassing.
I did better in my comprehension but my essay was just... Embarrassing, to say the least.

I'm moving except technology, internet and whatever is just bad around me.
I'm going to break that curse tomorrow.
Oh and anyway, I'm not going to see the DM tomorrow cause I really need some kinda cough medication to stop my frigging cough!!!
I've officially not smoked for a month, not a single puff.
The last stick was on the 12th of June.

I still don't feel comfortable blogging on this site, I've lost interest and love for you, zombiedustbunnies.
Sorry but I really want to move out, Now.

Probably bad for me, subconsciously- It's bad

2009-07-08T21:08:00.003+08:00

Flipped out the other day, for a while, when I realised something.
Kinda screamed a little and gave the longest "Oh my goddddddddddddddddddddd"
It was a little.. i don't know how to describe. It's a mixture of the sound "ugh" and "Ah?!", said together with furrowed eyebrows.
Doesn't matter. It probably doesn't even realise because it was never interested, so, this is just me being narcissistic and self important. Dunitmattur, Don't want to complete my sentence or thoughts.

Gotta go

Need to be alone for a while

Hello messy shizz

2009-07-05T17:30:00.003+08:00

I feel so lethargic, I don't want to study anymore.

Anyway, I changed my bedsheets today and attempted to take an afternoon nap but Chinatown's coffee kicked in.

This blog is getting really messy and gross. I don't see the point in moving because there are still a lotta things I want to censor. Somethings I don't mind you reading but most things, I actually do stop myself from saying.
Just feel that people get the wrong impression. I really don't mean to be nasty or cruel, most of the time I've good intentions but my sarcastic remarks are read the wrong way. So Fuck that. Can't exactly please everyone but not exactly ready to piss anyone off yet.

I really don't want to study. I know I should.. but I really don't want to.
I want to do so many things, learn so many things. Just don't know where to begin. Don't know.
I talked to Nathan yesterday, I don't know if you remember, the fat boy i knew since i was 11 or 12.
Well, he lost 23 kg.
I was 23 kg when I was nine years old.
So he lost a whole 9 yr old kid.
He's so... skinny and is an INFJ.

I believe that some things are not meant for particular people to know. Sometimes I refrain myself from complimenting, sometimes I refrain myself from stating facts. Why?
Because I know, at those times, it doesn't help the person.
No matter how great anyone is or how certain anyone is with their decisions, opinions still do matter especially if they do make sense.
But sometimes, people do not need to listen to that.
It doesn't happen a lot but it still happens. And that's why I don't really want to make my blog public but yet I still want to be heard... Doesn't make sense.

There are some things I'd like to talk about, some things I'm not suppose to know but I know.
Oh well..
Some things, I know aren't socially acceptable so I can't talk about it. Like there'll still be judgement no matter what, hard to explain.

2009-07-04T17:58:00.001+08:00

I've decided to forgive and they say it is suppose to come naturally but I think I've to put the effort into this. It's something I have to do and yes, I need to forgive.

Anyway, how can you hurt a boy? Boys don't feel pain. So you can't possibly say anything wrong.

I should really move

2009-07-04T16:33:00.002+08:00

Because there's something really wrong with my blogger. I can't post pictures and there are a lotta features missing for some reason.
It was all strange but nice.

furryzpeache

2009-07-01T18:33:00.002+08:00

It's so strange I found out that 2 people died today.
One of them is a girl from my secondary school who committed suicide this morning. Probably in her school uniform, I dont know. She was 14, so young.

I FUCKED MY DAY AWAY

2009-07-01T16:05:00.004+08:00

So I did this
Kinda like the psychedelic colours, suits the shirt. Mork and Mindy. ( not my shirt, Eme's shirt actually)
Anyway, yes new hair cut. I did not do shit for the whole day and it's 4:08pm
Blurg, I'm so disgusted by myself.

(anyway seems like blogger isn't cooperating with me today, so no pictures.)

The hair cut I want

2009-06-29T13:56:00.000+08:00

"Mushroom head" by Cuson
www.cuson.deviantart.com

Balona says it isn't feasible, I believe it is. Just need to trim the back. I should be studying now.. ahhhh..

Hello I've decided to blog again

2009-06-28T23:44:00.004+08:00

So it has been such a long time and you know, I can't seem to remember my days.
It's bad, because this means that I've been pissing around and have not been doing anything productive.. or at least not as productive as I hope.
I'm currently typing on my brand new Macbook Pro that came in sometime on tuesday.
I had my art exam on thursday and I studied pretty hard for that, was extra cautious except I spent about an hour on question 2 (a) only. Oh and we've 3 questions, so yes question 2(a) is only what? 1/9 of the paper and I spent an hour on that.
Other than that, I kinda knew my stuff so had quite a lot of write but being extra cautious and wanting to have a well planned out essay, it kinda did work against me.

For the other upcoming exams that start on tuesday for me?
Well... I did kinda study for economic, Huahua is a really good teacher. He makes things sound so simple and interesting and should take over another incompetent teacher in my life. No, she is not professor Umbridge who is my art teacher. She's Ms Wong, the tiny teacher who cried when Balona refused to reciprocate some sorta respect. She complained how frustrated she was and still is with our class. I think she is really nice and all, just pretty sad that she can't click with us and our logic. She seems to go one huge round to get to a point and loves to do the whole " So if Government expenditure goes up, AD will shift down and there'll be deflation, right?" (obviously she gives a way more elaborate example than this) "WRONGGGG CLASS. IT WILL NOT"
But you see, by then, everyone would have switched off and all they can remember is that when G goes up, AD will go down, which as she said is "wrong".
So everyone remembers the wrong stuff. But no, I'm not blaming her for my bad grades. My bad grades last term was my fault and I know it.

So anyway, I don't expect fantastic results this time. I just think it's a time for me to catch up cause I did so badly last term which I feel is very unlike me. ( No, not saying that I'm fucking smart but saying that I'm quite shocked by how I really could not be fucked last term... ) So yeah, I've not mastered the skills to answer because I've not been paying attention but I think it's a great start to get the content right. Or at least KNOW something instead of being so freaking lost and not even know the definition of "GNP and GDP ( yes that's how serious my lostness in class is).

Anyway, I really should be studying right now. I've not even touched my lit texts and this just proves what freaking bad time management I have, then again teamed up with my cbf attitude too, no wonder.

Ok moving on, i think I really like typing on this new macbook henceeeee this post is pretty long. Ah finally, no more impossible fucking Windows Micrsoft crap technology to work with. No more shit computers that hang on me, no moreeee crapppppp. So Hua kinda helped me with it when it came to my house, I screamed and the delivery man went "YEAH!"
HA HA HA.

So other eventful things that happened this week:
I was drinking a glass of milk the other day, standing beside the dining room table and at the same time, my Dad just came to the table half naked in his boxers, one hand grabbing the newspaper staring at me. So while drinking my milk standing, my dad and I stared at each other standing not moving for about 2 minutes before he said "What are you doing" when I was only half a metre away from him doing the exact same thing as him. "what?!"

Yesterday was Shalene's birthday, kinda gave up studying headed down with N. Went home with Sraf.. umm yeah that actually isnt very eventful huh.

Today I went for that flea market event thing "Teen titans". Saw a buncha people, talked to N.
Ok not very eventful either.

Oh at about 1 am about 2 nights ago, Vic C and I went to surprise Hua at his place. We sang a birthday song and he blew out his imaginary candle on his carrot cake ( chinese salty kind) and drank a fuck loada beer.

I feel kinda like an old man, I like coffee and beer and I think I'm too old for too many things... Ah I think things will probably change in a few months. I know I'm still too young to enjoy these things that I'm suppose to enjoy later on in my life.

Strangely, I really feel like so many things that had happened this year has made me realise that there is nothing here, in this country, for me to stay for. Yes I've made that realisation probably about less than a month ago. Some people are able to adapt better in new environments because in their old ones, they couldn't fit in. I've seen it happen so many times. More to come about this when I get my new blog. When I actually bother to blog regularly and when I decide to be more open about my views. Somehow, I feel like I've built something around me, something which I myself can even feel, I myself am still so damn uncertain and that is probably why I don't want to say anything about it. When you say something/claim something, you've to live up to it. I can't put that kinda expectations. It's hard to explain, to make it any easier. It's like saying "I am different", after saying that, maybe it is just me, but I feel the need to live up to it. No longer is it an explanation/definition or whatever you'd call it, it is now something I feel I've to constantly thing about. To mould my life around.

Completely incoherent. Anyway some pictures..

<3

"Like those abuse sexed up young girls, You better don't put the picture on the internet ah! Got all those SiCKOS around" that was what my mom said

A more decent and recent picture of me bald

Omg it is 12:37.... fuk!!!

2009-06-22T23:55:00.003+08:00

I still feel unfamiliar emotions that temporarily eats me alive. I don't understand this feeling/feelings and it is stupid that I still think about it but I know there'll come a day I'll have completely moved on. I can wish for many things. You wish I would've moved on, so do I. I don't understand why I gave it my best, just like how I did with Cheez but I could leave her without feeling anything. I knew i gave my best shot and it wasn't enough, I came to a conclusion that it'll never work and that was why I moved on so fast. I've always wanted the best for her even as friends. Tried to understand and failed at times. I can't understand, this seems slightly different. Very different. I can't comprehend but I've grown stronger and I dunno what I'm typing. I just feel kinda uneasy now like I want to throw up, curl into a ball and hide inside my pillow-made cave with totoro. Somehow, I trust inanimate objects more than humans and most of the time I rather talk to them. Now I sound like a crazy person.

Time will heal because your brain can only keep a certain amount of memories, you experience more as time passes by and you know... I seem to really hate completing my sentences now

I can't define anything, everything is too uncertain.

Rush of blood to the head

2009-06-22T17:04:00.002+08:00

When I get new ideas and inspirations. My hands go sweaty, my head starts to spin with excitement with a kinda numbing effect, my muscles ache and my heart rate goes way up. I'm getting it now.
Cross my fingers, I'm so young, there's so much time to try.

On another note, I am now of legal age and I've stopped smoking. Ironic. 18 and now I've come to the point where, I don't want to justify myself. I just have to.
And I feel too old for the clubbing scene.
What I like to do or consume? Beer, coffee and if I can cigarettes.
But I can't and like balona said " You sound like a 40 year old man"

A! what to do..... Need to exerciseee... wonder how Amibra is.

Pissing around

2009-06-17T22:59:00.000+08:00

Helloooo

2009-06-13T01:09:00.002+08:00

I've been so selfish, brooding and just whining, over one. I was shown kindness today and want to move..move, you know. The best. Incoherent. Completely...

Is moved

Hi

2009-06-13T00:18:00.002+08:00

I've been humbled and am grateful that I have such sincere friends. Probably the least anticipated birthday party, definitely was. If anything, I called it "potluck" and there just so happened to be a cake and birthday songs ( different versions, chinese, english, malay, sexy personal tradition from C personally!).
It is the most real and they did not rely on facebook ( it is probably something to a bigger picture)

I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend my day. So productively. With my artwork FINALLY moving and all these great friends. I did not need an overly enthusiastic birthday wish. The half farting and half dazed happy birthday almost seemingly like an after thought, I know wasn't. It is far more sincere than the bullshit.

Birthday

2009-06-11T23:55:00.001+08:00

I actually dread/ed my birthday since last week. I think I've come to terms to accept it even though this is probably the most unexcited and unanticipated birthday I've ever experienced. No, it's not anyone's fault. I just don't feel anything.

On the bright side, I have gotten over myself and decided to hold a potluck. After all, I've been freaking thinking about Vic's spamghetti since Valentines day. Oh! How I crave for good spaghetti

Lucien Freud BNW

2009-06-07T21:45:00.002+08:00

I know that he is a really interesting artist and all but reading about him makes my head hurt. How am I suppose to visualise his works without pictures, reading about his art without pictures or colour. Black and white photocopied notes, Gah. That has got to be the worst, no?

I'm getting by fine but I don't want you to see inside my head nor see how I am doing in life or how I am going by. I want to erase you of the now, not to forget what had happened because it'll be impossible to forget what had happened. You don't deserve to see what is inside my head. I am Okay will suffice. Gah! Back to Freud and existentialism ( God I'd rather read a book about him than read the black and white notes given. GAH! They make my brain hurt)

Kopi Bing

2009-06-07T16:26:00.001+08:00

I had such good coffee at Chinatown, I'm going to bounce off the walls. Thick, not too bitter, a little sweet, just perfect. We had lunch at the tiny coffeeshop that my parents always have breakfast at

Was

2009-06-05T18:44:00.002+08:00

This was how I looked like in April, when I gave my phone away. I laughed so hard while cropping the photo, actually I don't look that bad, just that when it's cropped and the emphasis is all on my face then only does it look bad. I've so much oil on my face I can practically feed the children in Africa.

It's not about changing the situation, it is about adapting to the unchangable. Happiness is a hard master. I could end up somewhere else and not school and still be unhappy. People who are able to take advantage of the sucky situations, now that's something. Without losing yourself by conforming.. Now that really is something. It's easy to complain covered in shit, it's also easy to conform to like it but losing yourself at the same time. Losing yourself for acceptance. It is difficult to enjoy the unejoyable and retain personal identity.

I found out something new about myself today. We all strive for normalacy as much as we don't want to admit it. Or maybe it is just me. I'm not much of an individual- wrong expression... I.. I don't know. What is the point of productiveness when I am not enjoying it?
There's some truth in BNW, what is the point of scientific progress when there's human regression. The loss of humanity for efficiency. Clearly, this is bullshit. Completely incoherent. I have not moved from this space.. I think there is a reason why but I don't know what it is. Something subconcious or perhaps, I'm still not ready to let go of the past. Just like the old blogs that I left to start a new one, like this. The abandonning of Toritease.bs.com for this link, that feeling of not wanting to leave but soon growing to like the current link, it is the same thing. I must be sure before I create a new space.

I have always believed that certain parts of me were ugly and then people came along to tell me they weren't even though they were different. Only then did I see it differently. So I guess, views do affect me... I've realised that, Only and I think realisation is good. Don't want to talk much now. Bye

Fouch

2009-06-04T16:29:00.005+08:00

Well, fucked up people do fucked up things. Last night would've been considered a big Fuck up in many people's context but it reminded me how necessary the human touch is.

It was nice 8)

2009-06-02T21:52:00.002+08:00

He does not exist already, reality has crushed that person. It is the idea you like and not him. He was real for a moment, for a split second, he was real. But you must know that you overlooked those tiny little hints that were dropped, something smelt off and you tasted it. You don't miss him, if anything, you just miss having someone beside you. You miss being accepted when you can't accept yourself.

mellow.

2009-06-01T22:25:00.005+08:00

Everyday I remind myself about the reality of life. I have almost completely given up on understanding human nature, it is way too complex and there are too many loop holes that give me a headache, everything contradicts and the only way to live, I believe, is to just live and not analyze everything. Selfless behaivior to be self sufficient and not to bother others end up being selfish. There must be a balance, one must be in touch with reality so I had breakfast with Hua this morning, it was nice. And hung out at Balona's place till late.

You know how jocks and their inflated egos laugh at people, is it justified to laugh at these jocks?

Don't laugh but feel sorry.

Anyway, facebook says that my japanese mascot is Kogepan. I don't know how to feel about that.oH WELL...

As requested by Adria

2009-05-31T00:00:00.005+08:00

Dahlia helped me with the face right on top.

Dah salvaged this one. Virgin time with Cobalt markers. It is actually very fun.. except most of the markers in the artroom are drying up.

Now I get something in return? hahahhaha.

Anyway, it was good hanging out with Vic today. I had katong laksa for the first time and realised how much I miss enjoying food. I really do believe I am quite a foodie. Anyway, I went to the original katong laksa stall which is freaking dirty. I really don't mind roadside food and I believe that it is way more authentic and tasty than Mcshitnalds but really, the smell of the drain and the stench of dead animals under the stove really gets me. I guess that is the price you've to pay for good food...Give up hygiene.

I got the sound stuff! Yes! So I am going to try it out and have fun.

2009-05-30T11:15:00.002+08:00

What do you want me to do?
I don't know what to think.

2009-05-30T01:47:00.003+08:00

The GP comprehension passage was probably the most interesting one that I have encountered. The pursuit of acceptance through the efficiency of technology, that ironically leads to the great fear of solitude. I guess I've been questioning myself a lot lately, worrying about how life works and trying to make sense of human behaivior.
I have not completely given up on understanding human nature but I have let go at least a bit if anything.

Balona ( my sweet looking used to be fat indonesian classmate. Her name being Ilona and was referred to as a balloon, hence Balona) told me a story of some sort the other day.
It was about this famous guy who was a real genius and an atheist. He tried to make logical sense about the things that happen in the world and dismissed God as an excuse for complacency. One day, while walking along the beach, he saw a little girl who had dug a hole in the sand. She was busily filling the hole with the water from the sea. He looked at the girl puzzled and told her that it was impossible to fit the whole sea into that little hole. The girl looked at him and said "Isn't that what you are doing?"
After that day, he was changed and believed in God.

I didn't really get why that converted him but I did gain something from that little catholic story that Balona's mom told her when she was 5. That it is impossible to understand everything. I do believe that most human behavior is actually done subconciously either that or habitually. I have cried and wondered if my self esteem is built around the people who praise me and felt like shit knowing that I actually really don't know who I am. That for the past few years, I have been so confident, that I was able to tell people the sort of person I am. Or at least in solitude, I knew who I was. But right now, I have given up on defining myself because it is impossible. And I've come to a conclusion that right now, I really am a blank canvas. I have worried over how fucking terrible that is but I go through life. I go through school just behaving like how a normal human being would. Live for the sake of living perhaps.
No point in worrying about how to define myself, I guess definition comes over time. And perhaps, there is a reason why human beings are considered social creatures. Some are able to enjoy solitude more than others. I am trying to be self sufficient and independent right now though I know taking my mind off things temporarily by hooking up would, I choose not to.
I need to sort my own shit out before I get into all that. I need to know myself and not let the people around me define who I am. I must be able to enjoy solitude and alone time.
I bombard myself with work and worry. A huge check list on the things I need to do for today and I am really much more motivated and anal to complete it than before. To see all the To-Do things done by the end of the day should make me feel better. It does but sometimes, it doesn't.

Fuck the fact of trying to define myself and sorting my own shit out first. I think it is impossible to harp on it. It should come naturally. So this is probably the most honest blog post in what? a month.
I met Charis, Em and E just now. As much as I want to be able to sort my own shit out and be happy on my own, I have to admit that they made my day way better.
Perhaps, I strive on people more than a nun that lives in a cave. I guess, my career as a nun is ruled out. To a certain extent, I can enjoy solitude but sometimes, it eats me alive. Whatever has happened, I have to move on and maybe socialising is just another way to help me with it. No point is sitting at home, checking all those To-Do things and end up being depressed.
Perhaps I need to just relax and go with the flow. Do things that make me happy for now. Happiness that I will not regret. Happiness that does not come in the form of hooking up with a random stranger that satisfies my temporary horniness.

I honestly thought of nasty things.. self abusive things... that I believed would happen. As much as you as a third party would see this as just another big shit that happened which can be overcomed. I felt something and believed I would not get well.

I have a feeling this post will end up as a draft after a day or so.
Pardon the incoherence, I have not typed a proper blog post nor expressed my feelings other than my art. So words to me are rather alien... hence the bad Grammar, poor choice of words and weird expressions. I wish I could write well, I wish for so many things and I strive for that. But I think I've finally come to a slow stop.. okay maybe not a stop but a slowdown to that mentality. That mentality to strive for perfection. Because no matter what, it is impossible to be perfect. At the end of the day, after achieving that fucking flat belly and being 36kg, I realised I do not want it.
That flat belly with the line that runs inbetween it should be sexy but maybe not to me. I still need that tiny layer of fat to surround it no matter how unattractive it may look with skin tight clothes. It became too unreal for me.... too unhuman?
Achieving it and knowing that I don't want it. I don't need the perfect guy or girl, I don't need someone to be artistic, I need some one to be real. Because that is what that matters.

2009-05-28T21:21:00.000+08:00

Bleep beep.. moving soon

Hi :)

2009-05-27T23:18:00.003+08:00

I was relatively pissed off today because 1) I came to school early for my Math teacher's lesson and he didn't turn up 2) I was considered late because I was stuck in the school toilet shitting 3) I realised I had to stay back for drama.

But I'm glad all of that had happened. I had Cedele's cake after cleaning up the so called drama room, I .. Okk I'm a bit lazy to type. And I want to move out of this space.
If anything, I feel more of a robot than a bunny. A robot with flowers in my hair. A robot with wires for hair. A robot that can buddy with Hua.

I've been humbled and I am so glad I met Muriz, Gen, Ciwei, Don, Alicia, Therese and a new boy today. Not My new boy. But a friend's new boy. He seems different and I am happy for her but then again, appearance is bull at the end of the day.
I am glad I met them because it has been months and I actually had a really good time despite having a backache while carrying my school bag that contained fake Barbie dolls inside.
Clearly, my setence structure etc is really bad right now. I've not blogged for a long time and I still feel the need to hit backspace. But if anything, I am surprised that I'm actually "chilling the Fuck out".

As much as I don't seem stressed and maybe this is some kinda false stress, I have this constant need to remind myself to "Chill the fuck out"
Just "Chill the fuck out"
I tell myself that everyday and I actually did that today which to me, meant something.

I really have been humbled and you've no idea how much I appreciate the people around me. I am done with a bullshit facade.
I apologise to those whom I've overreacted to. Namely Robson. Since he loves testing the boundaries. There are times that I really get so frustrated and he just basically pushes me over the edge. And I explode. I apologise because when I think back about it, I really do feel sincerely bad and fucking stupid at the same time. I mean, a battery falling so hard on my head, yeah it is worth getting slightly pissed about but not to that extent.
I hated how I reacted, I know it was an accident and well.. Ok shit happens.

Anyway, completely incoherent. As Hua has said, my blog posts are getting stranger by the day and according to Veek, I sound angsty.

I don't feel much of a zombie dust bunny now, if anything, I don't feel like any kinda mammal or animal. I feel more of a robot.. A robot with flowers in my head. A boy robot..........hHAHAHAHA, as if robots even have a gender.

Conversation with Cw and Gen.

Cw ( talking about some other girl): Yah her lingerie all showing like that. So gross. I don't like those kinda naked girls. Not nice.

Gen: Eh.. She won't like you cause you gonna pose nude for Marisse. But, I dont think you care Hhahahahhaha

V: Like I care? Also not like I want to attract Cw. HAHAHHAHAHA

Cw plans on changing her wardrobe and becoming girly.

2009-05-25T22:53:00.001+08:00

There are a lot of things I don't understand in this life. I'm not going to pass judgement because I am uncertain. Tick tock tick tock........tick tock.....tick...tock....

23rd May 2009 Self portrait

2009-05-23T21:45:00.003+08:00

2009-05-23T17:28:00.002+08:00

I've hit backspace about 6 times for the past 30 seconds

2009-05-21T00:05:00.001+08:00

Oh Yes and I felt that I gave away 4/5 of me.

To the general public

2009-05-20T23:37:00.001+08:00

You've no idea how much I want to say and how much I've been thinking lately.
I need to calm down

Starbucks bitch

2009-05-11T19:39:00.001+08:00

I'll buy for you starbucks and gladly be your bitch

2009-05-11T00:08:00.001+08:00

I thought of blogging for the past week, for the past few days. Every day I think about it. But, I've hit the backspace button about 10 times since the time I typed this

Do u know

2009-05-02T16:35:00.000+08:00

Do you know where to find shoes like these at a cheap price?

Reflection Competition

2009-04-22T00:06:00.002+08:00

2009-04-19T19:06:00.001+08:00

I wonder where Adria went to...

2009-04-12T21:46:00.003+08:00

"You brought it upon yourself"

Yes I did. I didn't know that you were someone else, so yes, I opened myself up to the wrong person. I did bring it upon myself and now I have to somehow rectify it. You will not stand up for me, in fact, you just behave passive. Passive.
If I had to predict what you are thinking, you're either predicting why I am doing this and you think you are right, that you are being put to a test. You will not be subject to it.

2009-04-12T16:06:00.002+08:00

You insulted me and would not stand up for me. Even a 5 year old boy would punch his friend for calling his mom a slut.

Life needs to be sorted out

2009-04-12T00:23:00.003+08:00

I am stopping all my addictions at one go and hopefully not going to form any new ones as I go cold turkey. They are taking a toll on me, particularly smoking. It is so bad for health and I am glad that all my friends from both outside and in JC have decided to stop at the same time too!
My school friends have their sports season. I'm sorry but I'm really against sports and I really don't see the point in winning a trophy unless you're thinking of being some sorta sports coach or sports person next time.
Unlike joining competitions, such as writing competitions or art, this isn't going to be in your portfolio because 1) it's team effort unless you are captain or vice captain or have some sort of role, there really is no point in burning so much time unless you really really enjoy it.
Which I guess they do?
I guess I'll never understand how one can be so patriotic towards school.
I find playing sports outside school, joining some sort of club is more prestigious. Schools playing amongst other schools? The next year when you've graduated, no one is going to remember that you brought the school glory. I can partly understand group effort and self satisfaction in claiming some sort of title and achieving something for the school... I was in my secondary's school SYF. I liked it a lot and worked really hard because I loved the play.
Not so much into bringing glory to the school or any fuck shit.
More like enjoying the times.
But you see, drama is way more enjoyable. You get to talk and socialise with your friends, talk to the cool drama teachers ( in secondary school only). Is it the same satisfaction one gets in running 12km non-stop and feeling an asthma attack coming?

I had dinner at my sisters place today and have never in my life met so many french men at one area. I generalise french men as sleezy but they weren't sleezy because one of them was a homosexual and if anything, the asian guy - not victor- was the most sleezy. And anyway, this asian guy asked me if I did sports after I declared that I am a lesbian whcih I then corrected and said bisexual.
Seriously.. Do I look like I do sports...
You know, some people might take that offensively. Imagine someone going up to Huahua and saying " Are you in canoe?"

HAHAHAHA

BTW Hua, if you're reading this, you really should get your NS shit sorted out. I talked to Vic about it and he said you'll regret it if you don't get it sorted out.

I am afraid of declaring anything right now, I am afraid of saying that I am okay. Because I am afraid I will disappoint myself. But for now, I am taking my first gigantic step to get my life sorted out without the help of nicotine, alcohol ( that I won't say I am addicted to but I can use it as a substitute for the former, thus I must stay away from it) and cutting.

Long hair

2009-04-06T23:23:00.000+08:00

So maybe.. not

2009-04-05T16:29:00.001+08:00

I have never been this confused and frustrated in my life
And what more, it is over someone.
Imagine that, I am actually confused, frustrated, upset etc over a person.

You've blurred the lines between Work and Love

2009-04-04T00:26:00.003+08:00

" You come out now you fucker I want to fucking kill you"
" Shut your fucking cunt up. Get lost, get out of my life"
" You abusive little slut"
" I wanted to fucking burn down your house and stab you"
" F"
" U"
" C"
" K"
" Y"
" O"
" U"

mMmMm... OH!kay.

I stood there thinking to myself how sad I feel for her, him- them.
When he walks, he's like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when he passes, each one he passes goes - ooh

(ooh) but she watch him so sadly
How can she tell him she love him
Yes she would give her heart gladly
But each day, when he walks to the sea
He looks straight ahead, not at her

Less than 2 metres away, He was there beside another girl.
Less than 2 metres away, She stood there beside a friend.
Both okay, laughing, smiling, enjoying.

I look at them and then at what I have seen which they have not and think to myself, how sad. How sad that they don't know. They don't know the amount of tears they have made her, him- them shed. They don't know but I know. The lines have been blurred, very blurred. They don't know but they assume. That is for every case. I have seen him, her, I have seen them cry but THey don't know
Clueless to the hurt they cause

Incoherent thoughts, privacy and blog just dont go hand in hand I see. I know I will never hurt it. I am inlove with it and it is just like that. I will do everything in my power not to hurt it, everything.

I'm trying

2009-03-29T21:13:00.001+08:00

I have not drawn in centuries and just realised how I've wasted fucking last year away. My skills have barely improved. If anything they could've gotten worse. Ahyah, the only response I can give to this situation is "Sian.."

If

2009-03-28T20:02:00.003+08:00

If I had the chance to do what I want right now, I want to dance.
I want to dance and twirl my legs on a pole.
I want to be a dancer with cash sticking out of my lingerie.
To see them wanting for more and more.

That is what I really want to be and is my current ambition for now.

Johor Bahru

2009-03-26T20:32:00.007+08:00

I feel like facebook is much more user friendly than blogger.

Anyway, two nights ago after the tragic economic Block Test paper which I predict I will fail because 1) I spent half an hour shitting 2) I didn't study for it 3) all the macro topics that came out I didn't even Read.
I went for ice-cream at Udders with Bra, lona and Huahua.

On our way back, us girls only, hua left early. We decided to go to Johor Bahru the next morning and so we did! ( Yesterday)
55 cents to take bus 950 there and another 55 cents back. Good company, a bad movie which you can totally criticize so loudly in the cinema ( because it is Malaysia after all) and a stroll around the dusty, polluted, uncivilised area made me glad that I am out of the country.

Anyway, damn funny, this random guy told me and spoke to Ilona in chinese saying : You tell your china friend ( referring to Ilona) not to eat on the bus, now they're catching people.
Then, there was another random china lady who spoke to us in chinese while looknig at ilona. She is now depressed that she looks like a China girl. She is indonesian by the way.
Poor thing, she claims it is the hair, might be true.
Ilona : omg fuck this shit. ( lets down her 2 pony tails that I suggested)

I guess the whole feeling of getting stamped out of the country and going through immigration was what I really wanted. Anyway pictuers:

Hey

2009-03-23T22:33:00.005+08:00

I know I'll never look like her

or grow up to look like her

or have that kinda body or even aspire to do such a pose

(Because it is atrociously flabby)

Neither will I be model skinny

I will never be those and I know I am glad I am not even aspiring to be any. hua is online, I'm going to talk to him.

Insensatez ( How Insensitive )

2009-03-22T17:44:00.003+08:00

By Wes Montgomery

"Anyone can die for their idea, It, anyone. I can even stick a fucking stick right into my body to prove you wrong right now. So when you tell me that you're going to cut your hand to prove something. It means nothing to me."

"Well that's cause you cut yourself"

( How Insensitive to even bring up that idea in the first place )

I cried for someone else today and felt this rush of warmth.

Buying me with your words, with "sacrifices" as if I deserve to accept dog shit because I deserve less than dog shit. Buying me with words. Words, words, words that mean nothing. Nothing. Purchasing me with "sacrifices", how am I different from a hooker I say. It sat there in silence, looked down, sighed and looked at me in the end.

Looking into your eyes that are empty. A staring game, I am good at, I am not as dimwitted to believe anything that comes out of it's mouth just because it looks into my eyes. I am not that foolish and words words words, puppy eyes, a strong gaze that makes me want to roll away.

A game, just a game. Does it make you not who you are just because you are aware of what you are doing? Just because you have a choice and you made a choice, does it make you more mature? The choice is made and you live with it. At least you have a choice, you said, but does it mean shit when you still make the foolish choice. No, not foolish, just a choice.

Dimwit, dimwit, dimwit.

A hope that cannot be pushed no further, I hand it over to your hands. It must take responsibility for the shit it does, at least once in its life. No more mummy holding you back, be that bad boy, be that slut, be that extremely nice guy, be the extreme you claim you are. No more mummy to hold you back, go on, take your first baby step to responsibility.

It is in your hands now, you make the choice, I have made too many for you and I am too tired, just too tired. I will push till I can't. I know that everyone is an individual, it must realise that. It must realise there will never be anyone else there like who I am, then will only it make the right decision. Awareness.

Econz exam on tuesday. I still have about 4 more chapters to study but I don't wanna. I just want to smoke. I have been drinking too much and perhaps consuming too much vices.
One week of holiday has passed and I have not even breathed.

Happy birthday Charis <3

Mahahahahhahahaaa

2009-03-16T02:02:00.004+08:00

Please take this lightly.
Both of which is a joke if you can tell.. And that emoticon was given by Eme.

Oh yeah, I got really drunk on friday night that I don't know how but I slept on my pull out bed. I've not been that drunk and outta control for a year, I believe. I woke up the next morning, looked at Ilona and said " lets get our navals pierced". So 6 hours later, we have our new naval piercings.
On Sunday, yesterday, I woke up and thought to myself that the IT fair was going to end that day. I made up my mind to buy an iTouch. I'm glad I did and I'm even happier that my dad did not pay for it.
Meh hehehe, I feel more responsible for it and much more appreciative too.

Like I said I'm on the road to recovery. Almost there just not yet. It is a matter of time and amount of things I start doing for myself, just for myself. I'll go for a facial soon and buy new clothes. That reminds me, I finally shopped after not shopping for 4 months or so. I bought for myself a dress and it is perfect. It has bells on it. Zara has amazing designs.

Hello

2009-03-16T00:54:00.003+08:00

I'm still alive and kicking. I watched Let the right one in 2 nights ago. Have been consuming perhaps more alcohol than water. Too much smoke too. That is why I went for a run just now.
I've been feeling out of sorts for the past month and it is due to a certain someone that constitutes/ed to a bit of my happiness. Somehow that person pryed its way in. Yes, no gender identity that persons got.

Anyway, I know I should ignore the person yada yada. Because I should not give in and not let it have the "power". That it should get what it deserves. But I'm going to actually try to do something about it this time. I've never been the girl who believed in changing people because I believe people should not be changed. That they cannot be changed. But today, I finally penned down my thoughts and realised how people should not be oblivious to the fact that they're an asshole, and go by life thinking what they do is right. That if I can somehow change its mind and let it look at itself for a moment, I've done my part. No I'm not going to wait for it to somehow reciprocate some love. This won't even work out if there is no love to begin with. If I have become that psycho clingy bitchy typical some kinda ex something, this will not work out. It must be able to listen. And why am I doing this? Because I see some sorta hope in it. Not hope that someday it'll be with me. But that it will change for the better, that it will finally match up to what it says. That it will become the claims it claims it is, that being a nice it/pet (mahahaha)

Clearly the above paragraph made little or no sense to an outside who does not know the situation. I'll give it one last shot, No I'm not going to run back to it and let it treat me like crap again. But somehow, let it realise its loopholes. YOU ARE NOT AS CERTAIN AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. When I say one last shot, I literally mean one huge powered pack shot. I know I've done what I can and that is truly it. I must not fall for corny lines or apologies. That is the danger. ( omg I make myself sound so noble? ew)

My bestfriend Homer Jay Simpson

2009-03-09T00:34:00.002+08:00

I believe that God created beer for me.
I have been drinking so much and I really really love it.

GENTING ANYONE?

2009-03-04T21:39:00.003+08:00

Quoted from Kim " i enter (JC) looking like a 15 yr old joyful kid,
graduate looking like a 35 yr old shit."
So clearly, JC2 is taking a toll on me too. That and other things. The upcoming holiday is a tiny break for me. Tiny but a break nonetheless. I was hoping you guys would go to genting with me. Since that is the cheapest place to go to.
And I think with the right company, like a HUGE group of us, it won't matter that there isn't much to do there.

So what say you Eme? E? C? N? of course the list goes on. But yeah. I really need to get out of the country. You've no idea how desperate I am right now.
So damn desperate that I'm thinking about going on a holiday that is after my literature, math and gp papers.
All of which I've not studied for.
I miss the large amount of fun we used to have in such a gigantuous group.

I don't think it'll be that expensive. Just a few days! If not, I hope I'll be able to find some sorta Brave New World resemblance of Soma.

Soma holiday.

On a much lighter note, I found this conversation with Joshua particularly funny. Something about him and NS just really doesn't click.

joshuaa ★ ⌠. glob the cob .⌡ says:
i'm trying to freaking reghister for NS.
joshuaa ★ ⌠. glob the cob .⌡ says:
the site is soooooooooooo user UNFRIENDLY
joshuaa ★ ⌠. glob the cob .⌡ says:
its so hard to navigate even.
joshuaa ★ ⌠. glob the cob .⌡ says:
damn annoyign.
Voraciously Vicky says:
HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Voraciously Vicky says:
REGISTER FOR NS
Voraciously Vicky says:
THATS GOTTA BE A JOKE
joshuaa ★ ⌠. glob the cob .⌡ says:
its not :(
Voraciously Vicky says:
Joshua can u go and study w me
Voraciously Vicky says:
ok im sorry i was mean, teasing u abt NS
Voraciously Vicky says:
cos you're right it is nt funny

btw he is the boy who has not done PE since he was 14 years old. No he is not terminally ill.

Difficulty

2009-02-26T19:21:00.002+08:00

It is what you have done that makes me think that everything is...
You should not have been that hopeful when you are barely even hopeful now.
Well, fuck this shit. Confusion makes me want to vomit blood.
It makes me want to drop out and say goodbye. Because at the end of the day, I ask myself. What do I want? Do I really want this?
No because I don't want to be in this perpetual uneasy state. I don't like the fact that you are constantly disappointing and that you are barely even there.
The question is, what is the point?
If you had not given me so much hope, I would not be in this rather uneasy state. This state of unrest. But I am rather okay, it is just this perpetual state whereby I am no longer just thinking about what I want to do. It is this state that makes me feel you have crossed something subconciously.
But hold up! I just hate waiting around in this place that is neither heaven or hell- what is the name to it?
I am okay and yes, I realised I sound so damn self centred above.
Need to party soon, drinking again this friday.

On a shittier note, my friends, Eme, C, E, Vic are going to BKK this coming saturday. So now I have no plans. No plans, fuck.

Asking huahua for help

2009-02-25T21:18:00.002+08:00

So I encountered a problem with the economic homework my CT gave. Its something about how to correct market failure and about starhub and Singtel being better yada yada.

Voraciously Vicky says:
oi so what will u write for part b
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
you OI what OI.
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
you have your notes with you anot?
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
the market failure/govt intervention one
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
pg 28: Enforcement of Competition Policy.
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
i'll use that.
Voraciously Vicky says:
i think i gt 30 mozzie bites or more on my body btw
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
it's the most obvious like govt policy thing
Voraciously Vicky says:
I HAV~!!
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
ahyoi.
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
i thought this morninign was only 14.
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
tsktsk it doubled
Voraciously Vicky says:
what else wld u write
Voraciously Vicky says:
part b how many marks
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
15
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE>
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
because most of market failure deals with EXTERNALITY
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
there is no freaking externality in watching TVjoshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
unless you count eating chips and growing morbidly obese
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
but that's out of econs
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
prboably health campaign syllbaus or somtihng
Voraciously Vicky says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MORBIDLY OBESE
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
IT AIN
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
T
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
EASY
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
IS IT.
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
FAT
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
COW
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
FAT
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
FAT
Voraciously Vicky says:
SHUT UP
Voraciously Vicky says:
wah fuck
Voraciously Vicky says:
can bold somemore
joshuaa ★ ⌠. dazlious .⌡ says:
yerah

Maybe Little Britain has influenced him. I ate at the hawker centre below Army Market today. It was good.
Today's rain was a good reminder of how beautiful rain actually is.
Oh yes and I woke up horrified by the amount of mozzie bites on my thigh. ONE thigh in fact. my right one has 21 mozzie bites, same area. It is quite scary. Then there's one on my left index finger, I dont know how many on my left leg, about 5 more all over my arms and body. It is disturbing. Really.

Pink Floyd

2009-02-24T19:05:00.000+08:00

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

--
I'm ok. Today my mom thought that huahua was my boyfriend for a moment. It was quite funny.

I WAS rather troubled

2009-02-21T22:48:00.003+08:00

I think there is a reason why this afternoons blog post was not posted ( I didn't realise it actually. It was something along the lines of "I want to crawl into a hole and die") That was how I felt but I'm a lot better now. Really a lot better.
Thanks C. I realised that it was just this huge misunderstanding. Well, now that I'm actually able to function ( thank freaking god.) I'm going to do my essay.

A lot of my depression is actually my fault. I think I should take up Muay Thai soon or kick boxing with C over the weekends. I feel quite motivated and am a happy peach now. Really happy though this afternoon would have said something else.
Oh! I do think that this will work out. I actually have that much faith and optimism in it. And at least, even if it doesnt, I know it will turn out quite okay :)

I can't give up

2009-02-19T20:56:00.003+08:00

No, not till I know I've given it my all. I don't know why I even believed. This is the 3rd time this week and you know, I'm not even sure if it is the third time because I have not been keeping track and there were just, so many times, just so many times

I do think I'm very weak, I wished I was so much stronger

Having a cold beer

2009-02-18T20:55:00.004+08:00

Trying to calm down. There's this mountain of literature homework, it is very disturbing. I have to present my A level idea tomorrow and I've barely any sketches to show. I'm in a really CBF ( cant be fucked) mood.

On a much lighter note, I took a personality test which I find rather accurate : Qualitative analysis of your type formula

Your Type is
INTJ
Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging

Strength of the preferences %

11% 25% 25% 11%

You are:
slightly expressed introvert

moderately expressed intuitive personality

moderately expressed thinking personality

slightly expressed judging personality

Take the test here : http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

"When under a great deal of stress, the INTJ may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, Sensate activities, such as over-drinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal. " Perhaps very true at the moment. This is terribly accurate!

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html << what I found abt myself. Type in your type and find out stuff.

Bull convos with my friends

2009-02-16T21:51:00.002+08:00

I ate like a ton of wasabi peas today, I burped really loud in school and today! My classmates didn't turn around to react. I've concluded that we're family now. :) OMFG I JUST DROPPED MY 600 DOLLAR WACOM TABLET ( i mean the school's one. )

So anyway, I was reminding Amirah about the GP role play project we've to present tomorrow. I told her to message Ilona. She came online to reply me this :

amirahahahaha says:
got your text
amirahahahaha says:
but i cant text ilona abt it haha no money in my phone
Voraciously Vicky says:
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Voraciously Vicky says:
omg why so loser
Voraciously Vicky says:
HAHAAH
Voraciously Vicky says:
ok sorry but tt had t come out man
amirahahahaha says:
hahahha loser in terms of what! me acting offline or no kaching in my phone!
amirahahahaha says:
sorryla
amirahahahaha says:
recession eh
amirahahahaha says:
must revert to prepaid
Voraciously Vicky says:
HAHAHAHA omg
Voraciously Vicky says:
u forever prepaid even BEFORE RECESSION CAN?
amirahahahaha says:
FORWARD LOOKING LA SISTER
amirahahahaha says:
ever heard of pragmatism
amirahahahaha says:
huhuhuhu
Voraciously Vicky says:
LOL WTF CAN

She's bloody ridiculous oh my goodness, so terribly funny. Her phone Forever no money. But her phone has great songs from MGMT :0 so I'm not complaining.
I should probably do my gp homework now but I feel like working on my script.
I'm going to bring wasabi to school tomorrow and have a wasabi eating competition ( I'm pretty sure I'll pwn all the guys)

Oh and what Ms Wong ( my CT) told me today so randomly during Econs class.
W: Vicky you're so feminine, when can I see your feminine side again
V: I'm always feminine ms wong
W: You knw class, Vicky was so feminine.. on my.. when ah.. on my..
V: on your wedding?! ( omg wtf she forgot her wedding)
W: Yes! She wore a dress blah blah blah.

And I told her I always wear dresses and she was all :O
I don't know why Shaun said I wear T shirts and jeans to Ms Wong. Omg, I think the last time I wore that outfit to town was years ago.
HAHA and I think Shaun said to me that I don't wear anything. RiDICULOUS.

2009-02-15T22:03:00.001+08:00

You are very confident and sexy.

Your parents should have named you...

Anastasia

http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz_232.html">What should your parents have named you?
at QuizGalaxy.com

I'm not good with titles, I don't know where I'm going

2009-02-15T11:03:00.002+08:00

Try out this test that Robson asked me the other day.

You're in the middle of the desert. You pull over to look at a cube.

How big is the cube? ( size of gift box, as big as a pyramid, as small as a pisai.. etc)

What material is the cube made out of? ( wood, string, concrete etc.)

What colour is the cube?

There's a ladder, where's the ladder? ( On the cube? Lying on the ground or far far away etc)

There's a horse, where's the horse? ( Beside the cube etc.)

So the cube size supposedly determines your ego. Mine was as big as a pyramid, so my ego is apparently really huge.
The colour and material of my cube was grey made of concrete, it means that I'm cold and distant ( but grey is a popular colour so.. I don't know if it is accurate)
Black means you think out of the box, I'm not so sure about the rest of the colours.
The ladder determines whether you're reaching your goal. My ladder was leaning against the cube, going up. That means I'm on the right path to reaching my goal.
Ilona's ladder was lying flat on the ground which means she is no where near her goal. Not even working towards it.
The horse determines where you are at right now. My horse was tied to the ladder, which I guess, means constrain. That I'm feeling like that now, which is rather accurate.
Ilona's horse was no where to be found, far far away, which means she's no where near her goal and she doesn't know what is her goal etc.
I think Amirah's horse was on top of the cube, which means you've either already reached your goal or you're reaching your goal.

I found the test rather accurate, quite interesting too!

Anyway, potluck with the familiar girlfriends + victor and a friend of mine was good. The spamghetti (?) was realllyyyy awesome, so was the mash, sausages, roasted chicken, brownies, pies, lasagna etc.
So much food and a lot of drinks, Sparkling juice, 2-3 wines, 6 pack Anchor beer, water.
A lot of smokes, 5 packs.
For about 8 people.

And I've decided this morning that depression is self inflicted and that everytime I feel depressed, it is my fault. Well it truly is. And that I'll go run.
I feel determined today and Charis' beautiful cute ( cos it is so small and thin!!) pink rose is sitting in my home-made vase which is a water bottle.

Oh and yesterday morning, I received a text message, someone bought my painting for 800 bucks. I'm only getting 20% of it. I didn't even know that the paintings that were entered in the competition and those that won prizes would actually have gotten sold. Well, so I guess the other 80% of the proceeds go t the school.

Meh

2009-02-12T21:45:00.003+08:00

I did something really irrational 2 days back and right now, I feel like an absolute idiot for behaving like a stupid little girl who was all mesmerized by stupidity and the lack of charm.
Complete idiot I was, indeed.

Love deconstructed at school was pretty good. The freshmen are.. well they were invading my private space and I'm pretty sure they will not stop. I played cards in school today and they got confiscated. For the first time, that OM ( operation manager) that was disciplining Joshua and I actually said that we looked like good students. This is the first time someone believed I was innocent ( though I wasn't) even though he didn't know us.
I guess it is difficult to scold a girl with puppy dog eyes plus I was nodding my head so much, it might have dropped off. It didn't of course.

Like I said, I feel absolutely stupid right now and it's starting to make me feel miserable. Well whatever, that stupid fucking stupidstupid phase is over. NO, you are not to ask me about it. I Might punch your face.

GP comprehension is due tomorrow, it's 10pm and I am so not motivated to do it. I am too tired and... annoyed with myself.

I'm in a fantastic mood today

2009-02-10T20:43:00.007+08:00

This was the painting that Umbridge screwed me over with. A quick abstract painting, we were forced to join the UOB competition last year and she really really pist me off badly. I don't like the overall composition.. A bit too.. flat and I particularly don't like the girl on the right- I dunno why she turned out kinda Anime-ish. I can't remember the meaning behind this painting. It's something about identity if I'm not wrong and about finding a balance. On one side its peace and on the other, the opposite, that darker side perhaps. We all have to find some sorta balance inbetween. The white spots which are flowers symbolise.. Something that I can't exactly remember. I think they symbolise thoughts or.. dreams or something. I can't remember. Picture was obviously taken by my camera phone. I used markers, acrylics and scratched some of the paint off. It had quite a lot of texture especially the fluffy little flowers that popped out. ( That I think are the prettiest things beside that character in the middle)

ANYWAY, screw it. It's over. Umbridge that incompetent fool made me sooo frustrated over this. And I thought I learnt my lesson not to help people paint or do what someone else expects. I thought I learnt it when I helped Cheez do her art homework (way way back). This served as a reminder why I paint for my sake and not for others.
I actually particularly like this one below. The colours are much stronger, the camera killed it. The strokes are purrrtttyyy. Outta proportion though.

I met Muriz after school today, it felt good to see her again after sucha long time. So anyway, she sent me the picture above. That's apparently her ideal body.

Something funny happened in school today. Look on top. Wonder who are the culprits huh.. Hahahaha... Oh Josh I blurred out your face cause you looked like fuck. So much so for valentines day shoutouts that are suppose to be put in the box. Fuck that shit. I wrote on around 12 slips of paper, voting for Ilona AND MY SHOUTOUT WAS NOT SHOUTED OUT IN THE END. So screw that.

So I'm gonna write out some of the shoutouts ( I really wanted Ilona to win and make it seem as if she has got many friends that love her or soemthing HAHA)

"You're the lemon to my tequila shot"

I found the second one funny:

When I was standing on the edge of that building about to jump, it wasn't God who saved me, it was Ilona. She's not just a good friend to me, she's my savior.

Something that Ilona wrote to Joshua "You're my flaming Lamborghini" and something about thanks for making my nights so fun or something, I can't really remember.
Mine to Joshua " You're my chomp to my chomp chomp. You're pretty tasty yourself"

-___-"Oh wellz...

A painting I did in 2008 with reference to Cuson.deviantart.com piece of a girl eating chocolate. This werewolf child is eating paint, I wanted to enter this in to a competition that Lolita Agogo.deviantart.com had. It was something about food? And we could book the types of food we wanted so that no one else would do on the same foods. I "booked" paints.
Yes, little werewolf is eating paints. The different acrylic paints that form the 6 colours on the gay flag. I think it was a subconcious thing I did.. maybe I'm really a lesbian activist on the inside. Hahaha, who am I kidding. I am not. But I do think lesbian couples are cooler than heterosexual couples. Lesbians are too clingy for me that's why I'm not a lesbian. I've not and don't know if I'll ever meet a girl who is non-pmsy.

Anyway some funny links Marisse showed me today.

Old Greg ( I found this video the funniest outta the rest)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApGIl6dul_w

Death Star Canteen for you starwars fans ( Stop-Motion)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw

Yesterday

2009-02-08T08:59:00.004+08:00

editted again:
Thanks Bird for being there. I can't believe I wasted three hours of my life feeling sorry for myself and crying. REAL HARD FACTS- that is, the amount of messages I've sent to your are more than her. This is a wake up call. I don't want anything from you, NO TO THAT LEVEL AT LEAST. Goodness, what am I thinking. This is not what I want. This is what gets me out of control and insane. I lose all rationality when it happens. I'm glad school is starting tomorrow. I can't wait for next saturday. I'm hoping that you ( Charis, Eme, Bird whoever wants to come) will go out with me.

editted: I need to make light of the situation

Self Abuse

2009-02-05T21:47:00.002+08:00

A relationship gets to a point of abuse when one is doing something to please the other entirely. Sometimes, I lapse into that. It is very unlike me to do something I don't want to. I thought about it today and it made me sad, really quite sad. That I allow myself to be treated not exactly like shit but well.. Yes Like shit since no one deserves anything less than what she thinks she deserves. There's something about it that draws me though. That makes me want to do it. I don't know why and sometimes, I wish I wasn't that way- that will make me so so sad. I don't find it appropriate to talk about but I do find it normal. I need to expand my circle of "friends" and drink. I think I need distractions and a hook up. I need something new, damn it.

Anyway, my mom just got home and my dad is coming back in the morning.
I brace myself for the best.

Hello friends from cyberworld

2009-02-03T21:19:00.002+08:00

I'm going to edit the script again for the third time. Type it out and evaluate it. I would actually add more things into it but there are limitations to this project and that's mainly the limitted time and my inexperience in Flash of course ( which I'm sure can be helped by Robson).

I just finished Brave New World for the second time. Hopefully I'll pass the test tomorrow- I will and I must!-

Short update so that's about it. I met Richa and Zim over the weekend. The weekends were so bleak for me and I realised I enjoy staying home more because my Dad isn't around. Rather, there isn't anyone around at all to talk to so that's greattt!!

I'm so excited

2009-01-31T09:35:00.002+08:00

I need a haircut...

I'm going to do my storyboarding today ( and it's really very exciting!!). But I still need the opinions of my art classmates, well- I don't Need them per se, but their opinions will help( useful ones of course and they're not dumb so it's highly unlikely that they'll give useless comments).
Ahh.. I just need to tie up some loose ends to my story and I think I'll be done.
Ideas change, they change all the time but for now. I'm quite happy with what I have.
I sat on my bed for 3 hours yesterday and got it done.

Oh the L word is out.. I don't have the time to watch it though. ( this is when you'll probably go :O)

Monday, January 26, 2009

2009-01-27T23:31:00.004+08:00

"Do you think our relationship is based on sex? "

"No.. And so what if it is based on sex?"

Need new things

2009-01-24T00:25:00.002+08:00

I'm in need of a serious haircut.
Initially, my hair looked like a mushroom ( ah great! That was what I wanted anyway)
With cute bangs.
To add to the cuteness
Frankly speaking, now that it has grown out after 2 weeks. It looks like I've a wig on my head now. So I'm in desperate need to cut my hair. But I'm so lazy to move.

I've too much on my mind. Just know that my life is so.. school centred. So much so that our class won the overall class competition- well damn right we should since Joshua Robson and I came up with the idea and made it happen-.
I don't know why there are ants in my cupboard. It is so disgusting, they drown in my saline lotion with my contact lenses in it.
So.. I open my contact lens container in the morning to see 3 dead ants.
Oh, how yummy can saline lotion be?

I am exhausted. I wished I had more time and my art teacher doesn't want me to base my A level project on sensitive subjects such as lesbianism.
It isn't about lesbianism neither is it entirely about love. It is about an experience, a process perhaps.
Since my art teacher has already said, that UK examiners are fascinated by asian culture.
My idea is based on culture ultimately. It is about human nature and like the random things people do that really catch my attention.
C'mon, how many of you know about my friend who has kissed a girl when she was 8 years old while playing "Mother and Father". My friend was a girl by the way and she was heavily influenced by the channel 8 drama. And even better! After kissing the girl, she'd pass the girl to her little brother to kiss. It is all too much like Brave New World's erotic play amongst children.

I find it absolutely amusing. Just imagine, how much television she must've watched at that age. I'm so bad at justifying my idea on my blog. Anyway, it is a story I've always wanted to tell.

Reason

2009-01-19T21:31:00.002+08:00

why I don't want to be in a relationship or love someone is cause it messes things up.
It is stupid, absolutely stupid, that someone is able to alter my mood. I don't like it.
I don't expect anything.
I don't expect anything at all when something happens at my own will. I don't expect you to be free.
But I get so very uncomfortable when I receive a call, which I can reject. But somehow, I pick it up and right there, I expect you to talk to me till I hang up.
I need to figure this problem out.

No but seriously, I'm fine as long as you don't bother me.

I had 6 chicken wings, 1 hokkien mee, 1 carrot cake, 1 sting ray, 1 sugar cane and 1 bean curd with Robson and Joshua today ( They had an additional $6 hokkien mee).
Chompchomp proved to be good and I bumped into Ms Sandra Ang. So that was good. I looked like crap though, after school and after 4 MSA papers ( how is that even possible you might wonder)
1 GP comprehension from 8-930
1 Othello context question from 10-11
2 Unseen Poems from 430-630

I'm pist off at the lack of attention probably, absolutely childish so I'm going to do my Homework now. But I know this will blow off in about 3, 2, 1.
Ahh! ~

I'm nibbling on my own kogepan

2009-01-18T20:49:00.008+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPki4iqs53I

(Dunno why I cant embed the youtube video in)

I'm sorry if I nibble too much of your head off, I'll bake you another one. No wonder you're so patchy (Hahahaha)

The Magpie

http://www.tischasia.nyu.edu.sg/page/showcase.html

Anyway, so if you remember, I did a film with some NYU students a few months back. So here's the final product. Not exactly satisfied with my acting. But I guess Claire ( the director) must've done well since her film is showcased on the schools website. And yes, she used actual film and not digital crap. That's why the colour is more crisp. I've yet to see the film we ( Robson , Zim and I ) did for Eme. But I'm starting to give up asking cause it has been 3290183290389012832 years since we shot it. And where is it Em!

Jealousy is stupid

2009-01-14T21:39:00.002+08:00

Put who are jealous don't realise that they are, usually at least.
They insult, for example, the girl that their muse are with. Oh look at her, she looks like a sagging prune. Or Oh, her nose is so large and witch like.
I have gotten jealous, of course. But I consider it more of a, okay, she is completely overrated.
But that is about it. A few funny insults always make things more interesting.
But jealousy, as in serious jealousy, like the kind you get when you're 15 years old or something is stupid.

I believe, there is a difference between stating facts and being just plain jealous.
I completely understand people who are bitter towards whoever for dating a bimbo after dating them.
It's just plain stupidity on their ex lovers part but then, that was why it never worked out in the first place.
Or I understand people who think others are dumb to worship so-and-so because she's so freaking pretty.
Wanting to fuck her is one thing, worshipping her is just.. another thing- it's just something I'll never get. Overrated. Gross.
But get why people have crushes.

I don't get people who get jealous. They have issues. And they don't know it. It's like... So? The guy I like doesn't like me but likes this other girl with a fat nose. You should rise above the situation and realise, "too bad" for both him and yourself.
It's always the matter of telling oneself " I'm not going to die? And that's why it never worked out in the first place"

And then, there are those who goes " Oh she's too fat, her pores are too big, she is so weird, her teeth are crooked blahblah blah" All in one sentence. Amazing how critical they are. I guess they just aren't able to see beauty in people. I guess, commenting is fine but.. over-commenting and like scrutinizing and somehow, not seeing beauty is just completely Naive and narrow minded on one's part. But like I said, these people have issues. Even though they might not have big pores and crooked teeth, they somehow can't be happy for others.

I've got my exams on friday. I've not studied. Hahaha, this is a joke. I'm going to Try to do my essay now.

Meeting up with the ex

2009-01-12T23:18:00.002+08:00

I met up with Cheez today. She is the same, doing well and the awkwardness isn't there. Still a bit I guess? But not so much because she is much more honest and open with it this time.
Anyway, I should sleep.

Can dads go through Menopause?

2008-12-27T12:02:00.004+08:00

Editted: The problem is not about the cupboard its something even bigger.

--
I think my Dad is menopausal. I wish he was still working so that he won't be in half the time. The house would be less uptight. My mom is a pretty carefree woman who reasons.
What my dad does, is say an automatic "No" to whatever you're about to say. Because you see, he thinks he is very smart and that another persons idea is just not feasible. He is narrow minded and very blind.
He doesn't allow me to buy a cupboard and to throw away my table that is about 9 years old. He doesn't have a reason. Because he really actually doesn't Have a fucking reason in his head. I told him I was going to pay for everything. He told me he doesn't want me to renovate my room earlier this year, he still didn't make much sense to me and since I can't really have much say in this because I don't have the money, then fine.
But this $100 ikea cupboard that I'm going to pay for, he says no to it. He said its too flimsy. I told him a friend has it and it's fine. And what the fuck he said " Just because your friend has it, you don't have to have it"
I really wanted to rip off my hair. I've always wanted that fucking cheapo cupboard that is pretty fucking sturdy even before my "friend" who is actually my sister has it.
I tried to explain to him and all he said was " You better not do anything"
I really don't know why I'm so angry and I've not cried in months and I don't know why this is the first.

Maybe it's because he has been absent all my life so I don't feel like he gets to have a say in it. And that's why I don't get along with my dad. Even when we're on good terms, there'll always be this invisble barrier that makes talking awkward. I hate it sometimes but I've come to realise why it's there. I just really want to get out of this fuck hole. Or I want him to go back to work, that's what he is good at besides cooking and filling the house with noise.

If it's not for my mom, I would've been set as an accountant since I was born. Because of her, I'll hopefully get a new walcom tablet with my dads disapproval ( he thinks it isn't a necessity. It isn't. So is learning new things right- that isn't a necessity. We can always be satisfied with what we have and be fucking grateful Right right. But that is why people stay at the bottom, because they don't want to budge. If given an opportunity to learn something new, then seize it. ) He still wants me to be an accountant. He is pretty much like Nelly Kee. But like what I said to her " Just because I don't talk to you and tell you things, doesn't mean I don't do shit and it doesn't mean I'm not passionate about what I do. It just means that I don't like talking to you about my shit"

Boxing Day yawnnn I just wanna see DD

2008-12-26T17:18:00.010+08:00

I feel kinda empty right now.
I got too drunk yesterday, got a bit too tipsy 2 days before and got pretty smashed last saturday.
I feel really tired now.
The first thing my mom said to me when I got home - she took 20 minutes before she realised I was home- "V, time to study"
I don't like to be told to study. It annoys me.

Anyway, I've not given out the christmas presents I have for a few people. I think I'll probably hold a party to give out the gifts in January when C gets back. Who says christmas should stop right.

Just now, on the train back home, I was thinking to myself about issues. And I realised that actually, people don't really have issues, that it's because they think there's something wrong with them thus there really is something wrong with them when actually there isn't. I shouldn't harbour on these thoughts. I just really wanna be at Anns place right now eating her eggnog.
Or talking to them; DD, E, Ann. There are a lot of things I've not told them or anyone for that matter. Except for a few. Initially, I didn't find it a big deal and I still actually really don't. But maybe its because I know it may become a big deal that is why I should stop lying. Well technically I don't lie. I just make up excuses. I should be more honest. Yes.

Oh I caught Twilight the movie just now. It sucked. I was yawning half the time. Incredibly boring and corny. The script was corny. The actors were Fantastic though. They could really act. But the director did not create the bond between the audience and characters. It was all just kinda distant. Too many assumptions and weird pauses of scenes with Edward Cullen and Bella just lying about with corny music playing at the back. The music was pretty corny. And fucking bad editting. One part raining and 2 second later the next scene at the same mountain, the actors hair are completely dry and it was just so terrible!!!
At the beginning of the movie, I was actually quite excited because the camera angle and how they showed the deer being hunted was really cool but after that, it was pretty much just silent and awkward and very cliched. Oh man, the editting was just so bad.

mmhmm.. Pictures were taken from Bird's party and Chapalang Bleakmas. I've no pictures from my sisters party. Sorry they're all pictures of me. I'm too lazy to upload the rest.
Photographers: Ruigina, Nerdizza
( Dunno whats wrong with blogger. pictures all fucked up)

Me looking very excited clearly

Annoyance

2008-12-23T10:12:00.002+08:00

I tell you what exactly is a stressful morning. A stressful morning is to be woken up by your Dad playing ( if you can even call it playing. More like smashing random notes) the piano at 730 in the morning. Him trying to be discreet, thinking that by pressing the keys lightly it won't create any sound. I was woken up and fucking annoyed because he couldn't stop playing the same fucking cord over and over again. I officially hate the C scale running down. On top of that, he went full force on that same fucking cord/scale for like 20 minutes at 9am. Bloody fucking loud.
Like how a 3 year old would bang the piano, thinking that what he is producing is music when it actually is just rubbish and noise pollution. So I woke up to that at 9am. He couldn't stop. He just kept going on and on thinking that he can play the piano. I quote my sister who I talked to the other day " Daddy thinks he can play the piano but he just really can't. He is like Completely off beat."
The same fucking notes over and over again. That is either banging the cord C E G or running down the same notes C G E C.
Oh my lord and when he was Finally and actually done. He went to bang on my door real hard and said "Wake up V, Don't sleep so late!"
Like as if what he just did wouldn't wake me up ( I wish).
I just laid there in bed, thinking about how I wanted to kill him and how I wished he was working now. So that he wouldn't be in at 9 in the morning, banging the piano. Asking me to wake up.
Anyway, I laid in bed for 20 minutes before I heard my parents leave the house.
Oh and when I actually decided to brave the world by opening my room door, more stress occurred. My brothers room was blasting the worst kind of techno you can ever imagine.
The real chao ah beng one.
Because he was playing some sort of PSP game on his computer ( thank god it has stopped)

Anyway, I've only been awake for an hour and I'm already blogging. So much for waking up early and happy. I feel like having a really nice breakfast since my parents are not in to annoy me. Oh yah, by the way, they kinda grounded me. Amazing huh. Asking me to study at this time. They just can't stop asking me to study. I just wanna shove a dildo up their mouths sometimes but that's just mean.

Oh you know what I really want for Christmas? I want the Black M]phsis high waist skirt, that is flared at the bottom and Pretty short. But I think it is about 40 bucks.

I'm back from Indonesia

2008-12-18T17:55:00.002+08:00

So I'm back from my fat-camp trip.
I'm kinda lazy to blog but you're probably wondering why I call it the fat-camp trip.
Lemme explain.
On the first day I arrived, I got stopped at the airport and they confiscated my passport for 10 minutes. I was alone and couldn't contact Ilona at that time, so I refused to give them my passport thinking that the police over there aren't reliant. Afterall, they're pretty corrupted right.
Anyway, I met Ilona and cleared the mess up.
Oh yes, I must add that I almost missed my flight because I thought my plane leaves at 10.45am except it actually leaves at 10.15am.
And I still went to have a fag knowing that I only had 15 minutes to last call.
And still rushed to the ATM to withdraw money WHEN i realised that I don't have my card. Thus all I had was 80 bucks.
Which then made me really freak out. Thank god for Vic and C for lending me 200 bucks in total ( Which I didn't use int he end btw).
So I literally ran into the departure hall and almost passed out.

When I got to Pekanbaru, it was 1030am ( its one hour slower than SG time).
She drove me around, I met her friend Pangnol aka Nana.
And we didn't go to her place till 4pm?
Which was a quickie because I had to change into my adventure outfit BECAUSE SHE FUCKING TOLD ME WE HAD TO TREK SOME NATURE WALK SHIT WITH HER FAMILY excluding her dad.
LOL, so being tired and having to wake up at 7 that morning, I still went for the nature walk that involved lotsa hills, mud and Forest.
It was particularly insane because while running down a particular hill that had soil of a construction site ( that is orangey) I almost fell and thought to myself, Man where are the brakes on these legs.
When I finally Managed to actually slow down with a lot of effort, Ilona couldn't stop laughing. Her laughter caused these gigantic black monkeys ( the slightly smaller than a gorilla)to run away from the trees near us.

Anyway, lazy to blog.
I basically spent about 28 hours in the car +++ ( that is the road trip)
Travelled to Kirinci, West sumatra, Padang etc.
I spent about 4-5 days in the mountains that was so cold ( didn't look anything like Indonesia at all. It had freaking pine trees man and it was around 18 degrees and in the morning, when its really cold we can actually blow mist outta our mouths)
OH YES and I trekked a mountain that was 2900m high. When we reached the summit. We were in the clouds and I dined at the highest lake in SEA that's around 1900m high? All by foot by the way.
So yes, fat camp for me.
But my friend said that I grew fatter after the trip.

Not surprising considering the number of times these indonesian people eat in a day. It's pretty amazing. hahaha.
Let me give you an example, of that day when we had a 14 hour drive back to Pekanbaru after our adventure at the mountains.
So we're forced to wake up so bleedy early- 6am ( which's the norm time to wake up but then again I sleep at 9 because there isn't much to do).
And we have breakfast which's super spicy fried rice ( that rocks btw). So I've like two plates of those.
Then we bum around at the carpark ( we stayed in this guesthouse. A huge house with many rooms. So it's pretty much like a normal house with a normal looking carpark- I've this feeling it's not called a carpark but I can't remember the word right now so nvm) so we bum around the car park for 2 hours before anyone gets moving.
After visiting a mountain ( by car not by foot) and a hot spring ( that a girl committed suicide in. And her body disintegrated in it) These indonesian people started cooking like eggs and bananas in that water. So we ate. And this lady even brought soya sauce for her eggs HAHAHAHA.
While eating, Ilona reminded me of the girl and how they didn't really take out her whole body because it kinda exploded in the water ( not explode but broke apart). So I kinda ate her body. That made me nauseas.

Anyway, I'm lke real lazy to blog.
More pictures another time ( Didn't really take that many) I had a lot of fun.

Nothing has changed

2008-12-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

I'm not inlove
I get occassionally depressed
I'm rather optimistic
I've too many ideas in my head but procrastinate too much to do them
I'm still quite and pretty much Sian right now ( as usual)
I got drunk with 3 boys last night and made them strip ( ha ha ha ha. I remembered one boy saying to another the next day when I wasn't around "Eh how come we see her we don't get hard on leh". Stoopz! )
I'm relatively happy
and I'm going to Indonesia tomorrow. First time taking the plane alone. My parents think I'm going to Indonesia with Ilona. What they don't know is that she is already there.
Ahyah, what's the worst that can happen right.

blahblah

2008-12-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

Yesterday Isaac and I sat in his room with a container of nuts and raisins. We started picking out all the chickpeas till there were no more, then we moved on to the almonds (by this time I was 3/4 full), and then decided to take out a few raisins and name them after his friends. The first batch he took out were all black raisins, ok not black but the dark coloured ones, so I took out two yellow raisins, put them on his palm filled with the black ones and went "hey look it's us in Little India!" I am not racist I swear haha I'm sorry we just like doing that. So I took out a really fat raisin and named them after one of his big friends. Then another slightly smaller one for his buff friend.. and so on. You just spent half a minute reading a paragraph on raisins and nuts that really isn't that funny and you're never getting that half a minute back. Free time does this to you. I need a job. And a holiday. I need to pack. I bought two pairs of shoes in 10 minutes yesterday.

After reading this from Stephy's blog, I'm gonna go read now.

Chao Chee mu

2008-12-06T13:59:00.001+08:00

chao chee mu says:
2 blondes fkin a guy lo
chao chee mu says:
hahaha
Voraciously Vicky says:
u knw ah, these young people nowadays like to say : chocolate is the sex" or "gummy bears are the sex"
Voraciously Vicky says:
but what they dunno is the sex is so much better than chocolates or gummy bears
chao chee mu says:
hahah
chao chee mu says:
thats why
chao chee mu says:
kids
Voraciously Vicky says:
they shouldn't anyhow use "sex" like as if they know how sex feels
Voraciously Vicky says:
KIDS
Voraciously Vicky says:
hHAHAHAH

I'm feeling depressed

2008-12-05T22:00:00.004+08:00

Empty is more like it.

I was clearing my phone just now, I was reminded of the ex and kinda sank into that emptiness I had during the relationship and I am glad that I'm not in a relationship. I don't ever want to be in a relationship. Too many expectations.

Too many- too much.

It is too much to bare and somehow, I need to distant myself.

I just feel really really empty.

Really BUT ANYWAY, christmas wishlist right?

It's on the left hand side. Enjoi

Crazy taxi

2008-12-04T23:48:00.004+08:00

Had a pretty nice night at Clark Quay. Chilled at Starbucks and walked around.
I think the night ended off with a bang. Serious Bitchfit accent and a gigantic bitchfit thrown at the taxi driver.

I should feel embarrassed, I guess I do. A little. But I really needed to shit and thus I took a cab home with my friend. Except the driver took us to bloody novena then bishan area and thompson or something? And he missed the Braddle opening.
So I started yelling something along the lines like : I don't know where the Fuck we're at. And you missed the fucking road and we're fucking hell not going to pay that much money for this cab ride. Because I know that from Dhoby Ghaut to my place is less than 9 bucks.
Driver: Ni jiu shi jiang lorong chuan mah Ni bu yao, Fuck fuck fuck lai zhe li ( In english: You said Lorong Chuan and dont come and say fuck to me)
I don't know where bloody lorong chuan is at.
It became a little weird and after a while, I figured I was just really pist off (duh) because I thought he was screwing around with us. But I don't think he was, so I apologised much later ( after I actually calmed down).
He asked me whether I was from SMU and what school I was from. I replied him with : how is it your business ( because he couldn't stop fucking talking and asking.)
And said I've no "xue wen" and started saying some Chinese nonsense that I couldn't really understand. But I think what he was trying to get at, was a " you're a condescending bitch. And yes I'm not educated but at least I've manners. I dont Fuckfuckfuck here and there"
Yada yada, I felt kinda bad afterwards. So I apologised Twice( once during the ride and before I got off the cab- oh wait, I apologised thrice because my friend helped me apologise on my behalf when I told her to help me apologise to him again through sms)

I'm either really nice to cabbies or I'm extremely nasty. It's true. But I'm only mean to those who think they can drive me all around Singapore just to get more money. I've realised that I'm absolutely shameless when it comes to cab drivers ( But so is C, who talked to me about her fuking disgusting dream about a what? BLEEDING PENISE and she started screaming in horror when recalling the dream, Imagine wtf was going through the cabbie's head then.)There are some friends, who will just keep quiet and just pay the extra cash after the ride. It is okay if the route is abnormally long. A dollar or two more is fine. But fucking 5-6 more bucks is completely not worth it because I could have used that money to fill my belly with a really nice drink from Starbucks.

I was probably really cranky just now and had to shit but right now I can't shit. (DAMN IT!)
Anyway, the cab driver drove at 110km while sending my friend home after I got off. He was so pist. hahaha but he apologised after, once my friend apologised again? I'm not sure. CBF(can't really be fucked) about it, just thought it'd be quite amusing to blog about.

Hahaha

2008-12-03T10:33:00.003+08:00

Ripped from Kims's blog, I thought it's pretty funny:

cynric tells me he hates lesbians.

cause all the hot girls get stolen.

how about just blame it on your loser species i say.

he says he loves talking to me haha he is so ironic. but i know i am wise and i make him wonder WHY he has so much angst against gays.
i might not change that fact but i am satisfied with arguing and stating my point.

i mean i dont understand homophobes. do gays hit on you? no. they hit on hot people. u have a dick but u find the thought of two dicks gross. they dont disturb you at all. i have a list of reasons but its almost 5 and i am tired.

i like the fact that i like girls. i dont know why.

--

Anyway I just killed a cockroach that fucking crawled onto my keyboard. It's so fucking disgusting so I started smacking it with my plastic primary school ruler. It didn't really die on my keyboard but i think it broke all its limbs so it couldn't move. Then I took a piece of used tissue paper with my mucus in it, used it to pick up the roach and squashed the muthafucking thing.
I realised that Zim's retainers are at my place.

I think Robson, Zim and I can be a couple.

Vicky Robson Singapura Communist? ( inspired by Vicky Christina Barcelona..?? Haha, absolute rubbish!)

PLEASE PUT UP CHRISTMAS WISHLIST: Birdney, Tsokool, Tanny, C yada yada whoever who reads this blog and thinks that I actually do care about your well being.

Past few days proved to be ..

2008-11-30T23:05:00.004+08:00

Random doodles, trips, beach going, Candian soccer players, 1 lucky british guy and a great after birthday, Ikea, Pist off American man, Bebe, Robson, My mother finding out and throwing my pornographic orgy drawing away, Chinatown and experiencing culture of all sorts.

FlashFace

2008-11-26T17:50:00.003+08:00

Cool software that allows you create your face. You don't have to draw. Just choose your type of lips/hair/face shape/ eyes etc then skew it to the size of your actual face.

http://flashface.ctapt.de/

Knock ye self out!

Should I change my blog?

2008-11-22T03:09:00.004+08:00

I was at Home club just now. Before that I was chilling with Ilona and Zim at starbucks.
Before that I was having lunch with Ann at Compass point's MOS burger.

Zim got his braces removed.
So now he doesn't look like a freaky anti social japanese boy that watches japanese porn, draw manga, smell manga, eats manga books and watches mange porn ( hentai?) no more.
But he still has hist rade mark face, that is >> T_T whatttt...

Anyway, lunch with Ann was.. uh enlightening.
Now I know, Now i know.
But I think someone has taken over her Sex God status and I'm quite sure it isn't me.

I headed to Home club cause my sister wanted me there. Except she abandonned me. Thank god for the girls who hang around there. Got to see Gen, Van etc + marz + Izzslutty + more people.
They were cool and so was this adorable 16 year old I met.

I hope my period comes.. tomorrow or sunday or something, sot hat I won't have the energy to go out.
Need to get my priorities straight okay, something I've not been doing for a very very long time.

xx I shall leave you with a painting I gave Cheez who gave it back which I then gave to Muriz. (She still owes me a photoshoot for giving her that painting.)

Acrylic on canvas

A few things I don't understand

2008-11-20T23:03:00.008+08:00

1. Why my parents refuse to believe that my air conditioning unit is spoilt and is menstruating water- the kinda period you get on the first day ( ie: heavy flow)
2. Why my brother is so bipolar and terribly selfish
3. How to dismantle my table
4. Why I feel so much pressure around my dad
5. What's going to happen next?

I watched Pulp Fiction with Dah, Zim, Ilona and Joshua last night.
They caught The Secretary while Zim and I were at the doctors getting medication for my ring worm.
Ilona really hated the ending of The Secretary. (Spoiler ahead) She was pist that they got married and all that shit. I liked it though, they look so "Normal" but yet they've this dark secret.

Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind:

"How'd I look"
"Happy. Happy with a secret"

(Clearly I've been watching too many movies. But there are more we ( whoever and me) have gotta watch. That is Clockwork Orange,Zoolander (Again) and Waking Life - there are more but I can't remember)

(The Diving Bell and the Butterfly's theme song is playing, it's one of the most beautiful piano compositions I've ever heard. Depressing too.)

Pulp Fiction is definitely my favourite movie. Absolutely genius script, witty and fucking funny.
It is kinda like Burn After reading ( I'm pretty sure that movie was influenced by Pulp Fiction) except 10 times funnier.

"How does your wallet look like?"
"It says Bad Mutha Fucker on it"

Really worth watching.

Anyway, I'm really happy with my life now, making lots of love with great friends. But I've been procrastinating quite a bit so I think it is important to constantly remind myself that I have to :
1. Fix my Air con
2. Throw away my table
3. Get a new shelf
4. Finish Brave New World

So anyway, last night was suppose to be a live drawing session, except it turned into some sort of movie marathon. And also a complete make over for Zim. I really don't know what possessed us girls to apply make up on him ( Something I'm not suppose to talk about).
He looked pretty good actually, we should've made him wear the College's girls uniform.

Well, we ended up having an impromtu drawing session at starbucks today. Did nothin.. nothin.. nothing. Bleak.

(I'm reading Eme's blog now. There're a gazillion pictures of sushi and I'm getting so hungry)

Have been drinking a bit too much.. I think?

Well besides Robson's Chalet, I went for Steph's birthday party last Sunday.
Some pictures of Em's bleak nose pimple, her soft tofu breast, my long-lost-twin Merl( According to Eme we look like each other, I think it's the hair and the fact that we're both asian and skinny), Steph's too skinny body (zomg), Kim being high and grozz, Elizabeth in her Specs.

Crazy

2008-11-15T02:08:00.002+08:00

Third blog post in a row.

But I've decided to stop talking about weight, fats and cellulite from now on. I find it so unattractive to talk about such stupid issues(which shouldn't be called issues) but I still do anyway so I think this is the only way I can stop bringing those lame topics up. Because, you my friends, who actually read this rather boring blog of what I call a life will stop me from talking about such issues and say : Nuh uh uh Vv, you can't talk about your fats.

You're right, what fats do I have any way.

Urban Dictionary

2008-11-15T00:57:00.002+08:00

Vicky

1. Secret version of Vixen; secret name for a hot chick when your wife or her friends are around but you still want to alert the other husbands/boyfriends. Very important to wait until "Vicky" is in a crowd so no wife/girlfriend becomes suspicious.
Husband 1: Hey, is that Vicky waiting for the bus? Husband 2: I'm not sure we should cross the street to find out.

2. one who loves alcohol, an alcoholic.
He's been getting so drunk lately. I'm afraid he's about to pull a Vicky.

(Relatively accurate. But omg, I tried my friends and it's like really accurate)

ilona

1. a blonde girl who is intelligent yet slow. not to be confused with "a-loner", she has many friends who enjoy making fun of her many hobbies and boys.
look at that ilona; she's never alone because people are always thinking she is so blonde.

2. an intelligent female who is sought after by many. usually pretty yet quite insecure. a kinky individual to be sure. most likely to become a dominatrix in the future.

she is not necessarily blonde and hair colour may vary from a light brown to red.

WARNING: may bite. HARD.

Robson

a loud mouth yob who reguarly gets pissed. ( HA HA HA HA HA )
getting carried home after a hard nights out up dame marg's.

Isabella

1. A hot girl with a hot name. Often smart, but at some times unattentive and ill-mannered. Usually a fast learner, and energetic most of the time.
The Isabella in school almost got kicked out, but she was so smart, she was able to convince the principal she'd stay good.

2. 1. whore 2. bitch 3. stripper 4. ho 5. slut 6. skank 7. hated by everyone
"you are such an isabella"
"how dare you insult me like that"

joshua

1. (chinese) a intelligent and outgoing dark boy who has all the right guy qualities and is the best in the world. A small nipple-like-mass near his stomach makes it seem like he is an alien.

he reminds me of joshua, he's so built.

2. The kind of guy who doesn't get labelled. He gets made fun of all day long and can still come home and call it a good day. A great guy who's real easy to get along with. He's very smart in the ways of the street and in the ways of the school but is in no way considered a "Nerd"

Dang did you see that kid? Yeah man, He looked like a Joshua to me.

charis

Indian for hash. Usually a soft textured highly pure and sweet smelling goo. Made by rubbing large buds in the hands, and collecting the dark resin-like deposits that collect on the palms. Smoked frequently by Indian Babbas using Chillum pipes.
I cant wait for a good smoke of some clean charis, instead of that dirty urban skunk you always get.

Victor

1. A slang term used for nerds, geeks and dorks. If someone likes to read, learn and wears sandals and socks, he's a Victor.

2. When two gents decide to engage in oral and or anal sex. After each of them climax in either mouth or ass they will proceed to suck the ejaculatory matter out and begin a sow balling process.

3. Common name of a playa who'll leave you without saying a word. Also known as "hustla", this individual is particularly good in bed and has vast experience he'll never admit he does, which is why all of his xs still chase him. (WTF?)

4. ( Ah... A more accurate one of Vic) A highly intelligent, smooth talking, mysterious, player, who appears rough on the exterior, but has a heart, you just won't know it....Use CAUTION when in the vicinity of said male species; as they can suck you in and bend you to their will; stripping you of all your values and moral beliefs. Also highly contagious...most men wanna be him and all females wanna have him. (hehehehheahahah) Has the ability to turn you into a wimpering ball of flesh with one comment, leaving victim to question their validity for life.

#1: dude what's the matter with you? Why you sucking your thumb?

#2: I got victorized! #1: Wanna blankey now?

3 days 2 nights

2008-11-15T00:22:00.003+08:00

I've not been home for the past 2 nights.
Was at Robson's birthday chalet.
The first night proved to be drunk. I was really mean and I had severe ADD.
There was one point when Dah and I started fighting. She poked my bruise, I punched her in the arm, she punched me back and then it went on for about 10 seconds before someone pulled us apart. Not like we were really into the fight anyway.
A lot of love making and crotch lying, both of which I didn't engage in.
I was busy being mean and I remembered Shaun being really pist at me during tai tee. I swear, if I was a dood, he would've punched me but he didn't.

According to a lot of people I was having a "bitch fit" that probably lasted for 3-4 hours.
I remembered yelling at people, especially Dahlia to Shut up ( who couldn't stop saying : I've to get to zouk! I've to get to zouk now!!! *till like fuking 4am) and Ilona to stop being a tinker bell or a giggly turd. Oh and throwing marsh mellows at a boy sleeping. And telling them how boring they are and how the our games can never start due to the two girls talking ( Dah and Ilona). And smoking to calm myself down. I don't remember saying a lot of mean things but Joshua and Robson took the liberty to tell me what I said.
Oh, on a much brighter side, I won at the game murderer. I'm a good murderer! Something I'm pretty proud at considering I played with 12 other people I didn't know. Hahahaha, that's such a lame thing to be proud at.

The next morning was only a few of us. I ended up being the only girl with 3 half naked boys and one fully clothed. Dunno how that worked out but somehow it did. And just like what my mom says "One boy not safe, better 2 boys to one girl"
So I guess it's a more the merrier kinda thing.
But they were decent guys and I remembered Jared saying that he wants to go to JC because "JC kids are horny".
Some sort of stereotype I never knew existed.
I can't remember how the topic drifted to a are you horny because I'm a JC girl, I replied that I am all the time. I think it is half a lie.
Anyway, I have issues and I think I'm a boy so I fitted in.
The one who got raped and like.. reallyyyyy drunk was Bruce.

Someone took advantage of him and kissed him and frenched him so that he would stop saying that he is a "Cocoon and is gonna transform into a butterfly the next morning!" And that someone was a dude.

Ended up at Ikea the next day, eating meatballs, sausages and walking around with 5 bags and a huge ice box that fucking opened when we were pushing the trolley. By the way, the ice box is the smelliest shit on earth with rotting meat juices in it. So when it fell off our cart and opened, you can just imagine the smell that went off. Worse smelling shit ever.

Anyway, I'm so lazy to blog and I just want to see the photos but I think Robson is sleeping.

XX

2008-11-11T18:50:00.000+08:00

Hello Vicky,
ROBSON HERE! :)

Out with friends

2008-11-10T01:29:00.002+08:00

This is another random post about the past 2 days.
I hung out with E on saturday that proved to be great fun. We have the same taste in women/girls/ladies and we're pretty compatible. I bought for her a sunflower because it suit the day and I think I felt romantic.
I still feel kinda romantic so I do romantic things to my girlfriends.
Because girls are the best type of people to be romantic too.
They get all flushed and "Awww" and somehow they actually appreciate romance more than boys, or so I feel.
It makes me happy.

We talked about Anorexia and eating disorders.
I think it is cheating by doing that just to get skinny. If you want to lose weight, just lose it by running or a bit of dieting not by starving yourself or vomiting into a toilet bowl.
It's cheating and if someone gets some sorta side effect from vomiting into a toilet bowl, serve you right. Like seriously, there are other ways. You want the quickest and most effective, just bend over and vomit. It's so addictive and will soon enough be so easy, anyone can do it. But not everyone can lose weight by being disciplined and running.
So run and exercise, don't do all these weird stuffs to get skinny.

I think I've been exercising regularly so I'm pretty happy with my body right now.
I used to think that my thighs were fat, then the other day I was at the gym and thought my thighs were too skinny. But I shook that thought off, it was the gym's mirror anyway. It is made to make you look skinny.
I've given up worrying about stretch marks ( even though I knida still do) and all that shizz about body shapes and having too small boobs to fit a bikini. Gets too tiring sometimes and I think I've finally accepted my body. That is: I will never have big boobs not that I want them anyway, I'll never have a completely flat tummy and that my stretch marks are just the result of me gaining and losing weight too fast. ( Which is insane. Cause I don't keep track of my weight.. and my body doesn't seem to expand and shrink that drastically too)

Anyway, went for the biennale today with zeem and ilona.
Had fun.
Ferris wheel.
High heels hurting feeties.

Sitting near the ferris wheel with Zim:
V: Awww look it's a turtlee!! hehehee *points at the turtle swimming by at the sea*
Zim: really?! (goes to take a look) walkwalkwalkwalk
Zim: Eh it's a dead fish

(Y) great. Just like how the fruit trees in our school are dying hahaha

2008-11-08T19:41:00.000+08:00

Voraciously Vicky says:
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
WALAO. u must ask all the rest to buy me presents
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
HAHAHAH!
Voraciously Vicky says:
i'll just copy paste this phrase t my blog
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
CORRIGHT WHAT
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
i work so hard
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
noooooo
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
nooo
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
you must ask miss wong to buy me also
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
say i am such a nice boy to her
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
and miss soh
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
and miss zhou
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
and ALL THE TCHERS WHO LIKE ME
ROBSONTAN_ASIA! says:
hahaahha -__-